Singhot.
Hikbi.
Luha nanaman ang maghehele sayo
Ngayong gabi.
Unan sa ulo mo ang karamay.
Syang sumalo, sumasalo at sasalo sa balde-baldeng sama ng loob.
Sama ng loob na pumatak, pumapatak
At papatak pa.
Unang saksi sa pait at saklap na iyong
Nadarama.
Ilang beses na nga ba?
Sa sobrang dami, nawala ka na sa bilang.
Pero andyan ka parin.
Yakap ang unan mo.
Ilang gabi ka na bang hindi nakatulog?
Isang daang gabi?
Isang libo?
Hindi. Hindi mabibilang ang gabing paghikbi
Ang nagkanlong sayo.
Maraming ulit.
Paulit ulit.
Paikot ikot ka nang sinaktan.
Binalewala.
Iniwan.
Di inaruga.
Niloko.
Nilinlang.
Pinalabas na baliw.
Pinalabas na masama magisip.
Pinalabas na hindi kuntento.
Pinalabas na mapaghanap.
Sinigawan.
Ipinahiya.
Minura.
Tinalikuran.
Kinalimutan.
Ganun karaming beses ka ring humagulgol.
Lumuha ng tahimik.
Nakiusap.
Nagmaka-awa.
Pero hindi pinakinggan.
Pero andyan ka parin.
Yakap ang iyong unan.
Umiyak.
Umiiyak.
Iiyak.
Naghintay.
Naghihintay.
Maghihintay ng panahong diringgin ang panaghoy.
Pagod ka na.
Pero hindi ka sumuko.
Hindi ka sumusuko.
At hindi ka susuko.
Nakiusap sa may kapal.
Kung maari ka nyang bagsakan ng time machine para makabalik sa panahon
Kung kailan alam mo pa ang halaga mo.
Dahil ngayon, wala ka na.
Wala ka na sa sarili mo.
Nalimutan mo na ang sarili mong halaga.
Nabulag sa sobrang pagmamahal sa isang taong hindi magawang pahalagahan ang oras mo.
Ang damdamin mo.
Ang mga ginagawa mo.
Ang pagmamahal mo.
Alam nyang lumuluha ka.
Mahimbing syang nakakatulog.
Alam nyang nasasaktan ka.
Habang mapayapa syang nahihimbing.
Hihingi sya ng tawad kinabukasan.
Tawad sa pananakit sayo na hindi nya rin naman naiintindihan.
Kaya babalik ka ulit.
Sa punto na wala kang ibang kakapitan kundi ang unan mong lunod na lunod na sa luha at sama ng loob.
Hindi nya masabing napaka-tanga mo.
Sa paulit ulit na pagbibigay ng pagkakataon.
Sa tao na matagal mo nang dapat isinuko.
Sa tao na mula noon hanggang ngayon ay hindi parin alam ang tunay mong halaga.
Sa taong hindi batid, kung gaano mo sya kamahal na umabot ka sa punto na iniwan mo na ang iyong sarili sa nakalipas.
Dahil sya ang pinili mo.
Maraming beses ka nang nakiusap.
Nagmaka-awa.
Ginawa mo na ang lahat ng iyong magagawa.
Hindi mo na maidilat ang namumugto mong mga mata kaya hindi ka na makakita.
Tumulo na lahat, pati sipon.
Hindi ka na makahinga.
Pagod na ang puso mong maghintay.
Mangarap.
Umasam.
Na darating ang araw na makikita nya ang halaga mo.
Bukas, Umaga na.
Oras na para gumising ka.
Ibilad mo na ang unan sa labas.
Marami pa syang luhang sasahurin sa mga darating na gabi.
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
NEVER HIRE A FREE-SPIRIT
NEVER HIRE A FREE-SPIRIT
If you’re the kind of boss who loves to order people around.
Who spend every minute of every hour texting or making phone
calls
Just to whine about how difficult your life is as a boss.
Free-spirits aren’t the best shock absorbents.
Free-spirits aren’t afraid to tell you how annoying you are
And how you waste your time, effort and money complaining
Instead of making solutions. –and how you waste their
precious time when they’re actually
creating solutions for you.
Free-spirits aren’t afraid to tell, right at your face how
your
negativity isn’t helping you or the people around you at
all.
Free-spirits aren’t afraid to say “That’s bullshit!” when
you give threats.
-most of them already seen worse.
The only fear they have is to be infected of Brain
Inefficiency Virus.
Free-spirits aren’t afraid to confront you when you’re
making
Bad decisions or when you swoon impulsively into situations
you can’t really deal with.
-they have super creative minds and restless brains.
They just happen to know the kind of people who can actually
do the job.
They find complaining without solution very immature.
So, you might experience a lot of upfront sarcasm.
Free-spirits aren’t afraid to say what’s on their minds.
They care less if people appreciate their honesty or not.
They don’t do things to please people.
-they do things because they can.
They know they’re not dogs.
They won’t work for you.
But they’re more than willing to work WITH you.
They have the habit of being honest to their graves.
Even if it means hurting your ego.
That’s because they’re not after your favor.
They’re after spending their time productively.
-like REALLY productively.
They don’t fit in the office environment very well.
Free-spirits hate politics.
They don’t care who’s on top of the ladder.
they can work without
having to gain everyone’s favor.
-and that is a serious threat for a highly political
corporate zombie zone.
They do things the way they want to do them.
-most of the time, out of office standards.
Which is unconventional, yet very effective.
when there's a meeting and you call for a vote then everyone says "yes" to everything you say, most of the time, free-spirits would say "That's crap!". -simply because they know zombies don't have brains so, all they can say is "yes".
they are warriors.
they have souls that no one can tame.
They have their own minds.
They see things differently.
Do things differently.
And they’re not serious by the way.
They work with 10% corporate discipline, 40% God knows what
and 50% combination of commonsense and sense of humor.
They’re not afraid to lose their jobs.
They have very little care about money.
But once they find you unworthy of their talents,
They’re not afraid to bid you goodbye.
So, if you’re not ready to take the leap.
If you’re not ready to make a change.
If you’re not ready to grow.
If you’re not ready to soar.
If you lack the highest form of sensibility.
If you’re not ready to really succeed…
Then, never hire a free-spirit.
Sunday, May 24, 2015
She
She’s got that look of a
sophisticated woman.
She handles herself very well.
She speaks with such smoothness
one can only find in silk.
She laughs.
She pleases.
She deals with a lot of people
and always makes sure she gets what she wants.
Everyone thinks she’s perfect.
-she makes sure everyone will
think that way.
But then, she never knew me. –she
didn’t expect she’d fail with me.
She smiles. But her eyes were
shallow.
It might have that glow before. –but
I wasn’t fortunate to see it now.
Her smooth talks caught me for
quite some time.
But at some point, she sang out
of tune.
She failed to hit the notes. She
missed connecting the dots.
And I just can’t help myself.
A looked deeper… through her
eyes. –she didn’t know I saw her.
She talked. – I didn’t just
listen, I absorbed every word.
She didn’t know I have ears. –and
that I take words as breakfast.
She tried to make me believe
everything she said.
But I’ve seen enough. Heard enough.
Felt enough.
She failed.
And she didn’t like the feeling
that someone like me saw right through her.
I asked her if we can grab a coffee somewhere.
I wanted to tell her what I saw. -I wanted to tell her that it's okay.
that if she'd just let herself free, there's a greater chance of
her getting better. -and that she need not to hide.
that if she'd just let herself free, there's a greater chance of
her getting better. -and that she need not to hide.
But she declined my invitation.
-she was afraid of what I’ll say.
She was afraid that someone
finally knew her nakedness.
Her weak spot.
She was afraid that someone
finally saw what she’s been trying to hide for so long.
-she worked so hard to hide it. Because
she doesn’t want people to see.
All her stories were filled of her name.
How she's doing lots of things “to help” others.
How she looks for every opportunity to extend her “generous
hands”.
How her heart pours out to those who are helpless.
She is working hard. – So people would applaud her. Admire her.
Envy her.
Because that’s the only thing she could do to feel that she’s
still beautiful. Powerful. In control.
She failed.
She makes sure her hair is always
smooth. -No one touches them but her.
She put on those pretty dresses.
-Everyone notices. But what she’s really yearning for is someone who would love
to take them off at night. In bed. And dream of her until the morning breaks.
She got those polished pointed
shoes. -Her feet inside were dry.
She works all day. -She didn’t
know her son missed his lunch.
She works all night. -Because her
husband doesn’t touch her anymore. His hands still has that other girl’s
perfume. She hates him. But she couldn’t leave. She can’t remember how orgasm
feels like.
She couldn’t leave him because of their children. – Children
who doesn’t see her as a mother anymore.
She couldn’t leave him because she doesn’t want people to
see she failed achieving her fairy tale.
She couldn’t leave the man she hates and who doesn’t love
her anymore. –because she cares for the name, more than anything.
She wouldn’t let go of her pride.
She’d rather suffer living her miserable life because she
can’t afford to fail.
She keeps on wanting to achieve things. –she knows they can’t
help her get her husband back. But at least, achievements can cover the wounds.
But she can’t get her mind off her failures. –so she kept
on failing. One step after another. Failing.
She doesn’t want to accept defeat.
Her ego is what keeps her alive.
She will keep controlling people around her. –that’s her
only way to feel strong.
She’ll keep on fighting until the very end. –pretending her
heart is pure. Hiding her wounds.
The day ends. She goes home. She ate out and brought pizza
for her kids for dinner. She doesn’t cook because she’s afraid it would taste
as bitter as her wounds.
The man of the house came home. Asked the kids how their
day was.
She wanted to tell him how hers went. –but he went straight
upstairs. He didn’t even look at her.
She asked him if he had dinner. He plainly said “I’m done.”
She heard him make a phone call. He spoke in a very low
voice.
She heard him say “see you tomorrow.” –at least he has
something to look forward to.
She combed her hair. Looking at her shallow eyes in the
mirror.
She remember how they’d glow. –it was a long time ago.
It’s night time. She makes a late night call. “Do this…
Blah-blah.”
She lay in bed at night. Beside her was a man she called
husband once. She stays awake.
With fear of having her reality as a dream. Her heart wants
to burst. She lays beside the man she hates.
She didn’t know what’s next. –she said yes to everything
because she didn’t understand anything at all.
She was blinded by her ego to stay alive.-and on top of
things.
She doesn’t have anyone to talk to. –because she can’t let
anyone know she failed.
It’s 3 A.M.
She’s tired. Her eyes started to close.
Beside her lay a man who doesn’t love her. Doesn’t want her
anymore.
He whispered a name. –it wasn’t hers.
She slept. She needs strength to survive her show tomorrow.
Friday, May 22, 2015
ANG BUHAY NG LANGGAM. BOW.
Noong unang panahon, sa malaking
lumapain ng Halandia,
Lupang pangako ng mga langgam na
puti, may hinirang na pambihirang inang reyna.
Hindi batid ng buong ka-langgaman
kung saan nagmula ang reyna…
Ayon sa kanya, sya ay nagmula sa katas-taasang
lugar ng Matipunong Lupang Lalaki, kung saan niya nalinang ang kakayahang
mamumo.
Tuwang-tuwa ang buong
ka-langgaman dahil saw akas ay nabiyayaan sila ng inang reynang ubod ng talino.
Sa kaharian, nagumpisang magbigay
ng tungkulin ang ingang reyna…
Inang Reyna: Langgam, ikaw ang nais kong maging taga-habi ng ating
mga kasuotan.
Langgem, ikaw naman ang magiging
taga-pangasiwa sa mga itlog sa narseri.
Langgim, ikaw naman ang aking
taga-hatid-sulat sa ibang kaharian.
Langgom, ikaw ang aking sundalo. Ikaw
ang haharap sa anumang banta ng panganib.
Langgum, ikaw ang aking
ingat-yaman.
Masaya ang lahat sa kanilang mga
tungkulin. Sobrang excited si Langgem dahil mahilig sya sa mga baby na
langgamito.
Langgum: “Sobrang saya ko, dahil saw akas ay mabibigyang saysay ko
na ang aking inaral ng napahabang panahon!”
Langgom: “Ako rin… saw akas ay mapapakinabangan ko na ang mga
muscles ko.”
Langgam: “Anong kulay ng kasuotan ang nais ninyong suotin?”
Langgem: “nais ko ay kulay bughaw na tulad ng sa langit… dahil yun
ay tamang kulay sa mata ng mga langgamito.”
Masayang natapos ang gabi at
mahimbing na natulog ang lahat…
Kinabukasan…
Inang Reyna: “Langgam, nais kong pumunta ka sa kaharian ni Haring
Dyali-Bee upang i-renew and ating Peace Agreement.”
Langgam: “Inang reyna, hindi ko po alam kung saan ang kaharian ng
mga bubuyog… at hindi po ako marunong magsalita ng Dyali-Dyali.”
Inang Reyna: “Basta! Pumunta ka roon at sundin ang inutos ko.”
Langgam: “nasaan po ba si Langgim? Marahil ay maari nya akong
tulungan?”
Inang Reyna: “Si Langgim ay nasa narseri. Nagaalaga ng mga
langgamito.”
Langgam: “PO? Hindi ba’t si Langgem ang dapat nangangasiwa noon?”
Inang Reyna: “Si Langgem ay ipinadala ko sa Giyera sa timog kung
saan nanggugulo ang mga Beetle. “ (Ano bang tagalog ng beetle?)…
Langgam: “Po? Ngunit mabait na nars si Langgem. Hindi po sya
pandigma na tulad ni Langgom.”
Inang Reyna: “Si Langgom ay pinapunta ko sa Kaharian ni Thumbelina
upang itanong kung saan sya nagpa-rebond. Gusto ko yung straight hair ni
Thumbelina ngayon. Ang lakas maka-Sam Pinto ng dating. At yung bangs nyang
parang sa isang bata duns a Team Kramer.”
Langgam: “Pano poi to? Hindi kop o alam ang aking gagawin… pero
sige po, susubukan ko. Meron nap o bang liham na aking ihahatid?”
Inang Reyna: “Wala ata…? Gumawa ka nalang.”
Teka, wla pala tayong tinta. Sumisid
ka muna sa dagat pasipiko at humingi ng tinta kay Haring Pusit.”
Langgam: “Ngunit Inang Reyna, wala na pong libre sa panahon ngayon.
Maari ppo ba akong humingi ng cash kay Langgum?”
Inang Reyna: “Wala si Langgum. Pinapunta ko sya sa aking tunay na
tirahan upang labhan ang kabundok kong mga gown.”
Kinagabihan…
Umuwing pilay si Langgam dahil
tinorture sya sa Kaharian ni Haring Dyali-Bee dahil hindi sya marunong
magsalita ng Dyali-Dyali.
Si Langgem ay pumanaw sa battle
field sa dahilang wala syang dalang sandata ng ipina-dala sya sa giyera sa
timog.
Si Langgim ay kinain ng buhay ng
mga Langgamito dahil kulay pula ang kanyang suot. Bawal ang red sa narseri. Bad
color.
Si Langgom ay isa nang
parlorista. Career shift.
At si Langgum ay naputulan ng legs
sa dami ng gown na nilabhan.
Hindi na sya makakahawak ng
calculator magpakailanman.
Hindi naglaon ay bumagsak ang
buong Kalanggaman dahil hindi nagawa ng bawat isa ang kanilang mga tungkulin
dulot ng kaguluhan.
Napag-alamang si Inang Reyna pala
ay Tutubi at nagcostume lang bilang Kalanggaman.
Moral Lesson: Kumain ng tanghalian sa tamang oras.
Ang Lunch Hour ay 12:00 PM to
1PM.
Isang oras ang lunch break. HINDI
30 minutes.
Monday, April 13, 2015
LEADERSHIP: Must-have Qualities of a Leader and Aspiring Leaders (Plus Notes to Company Owners in choosing people to Lead)
There’s this line from the movie Spiderman that I love the
most: “Great power comes with great responsibilities.”
I find this very, very true.
I grew up volunteering myself as a leader whenever given a
chance. Until I came to a point where, I got tired of all the b.s. and run
away.
I came to a point of admitting that I do not have the right
qualities of a great leader. –yet.
So, I decided to pack my things and move my feet with the
hope of finding myself a sensei who will teach me how. –Lucky me. I found one.
What I learned from this person is both a surprise and not.
Actually, I realized that I took leadership the wrong way that I ended up lost
in the wrong thought of the whole leadership thing.
So, with this note, I would like to share what I’ve learned
from the greatest leader I now know.
What is Leadership?
We often get “Leadership is the art and science of leading a
group of people, directing, controlling and giving commands to achieve a common
goal” as the answer to this question.
And yes. That is true.
But if we dig deeper as to the real meaning and purpose of
leadership, what do we get then?
None. There’s no real and definite answer to that.
Why? Because if you are really born to lead, you’ll sure end
up realizing what leadership means to YOU.
Leadership is influencing individuals and groups of people
to move with their best efforts to achieve the highest possible peak they have
for themselves. –the common goal will be achieved afterwards. Because there’s
no such thing as achieving group goals without achieving individual goals
first.
So, what do I mean by this?
A leader, must have a great sense of self-direction first
before being able to lead many.
Remember: A lost soul can never lead another lost soul.
They’ll end up, well, both lost.
Aside from self-direction, a real leader must have the
following qualities:
1.
The Brain: Knowledge is power. –they say. I
sincerely believe that this is true. I know that it will take a great deal of
thinking when you are leading yourself –and others. So, it is very important
for a leader to have a healthy brain and sense of thinking in order to come up
with plans to deal with many responsibilities. So, the saying “The Leader is
the Head of the group.” is literally true.
2.
The Heart: When you are a leader, your followers
look up to you not just as their leader, but as their mother (or father) as
well. In a more cozy setting, you are either the group’s big sister or brother.
This means, being the “All-Knowing-Walking-Google-Bitch” is not enough. Aside
from the ability to lay out plan of action, a leader is also required to have
the heart (conscience) to be able to tailor fit any course of action based on
the group’s (or individual’s) current situation. And when I say current
situation, this means a leader’s approach should not just be based on
superficial events. –but non-superficial too.
Okay, this may take more explaining as I
thought it would. I can also use the word “Sensitivity” for this.
A leader must have enough sensitivity in
order to come up with achievable plans for the group. One good example is this
scenario:
-Scenario 1-
Case Study: Reproductive Health
Mission: To provide alternatives for the
effectivity of RH / Family Planning
Situation: 3 of your group members are
devout Roman Catholics who oppose alternative methods
Tendency: If you’re the type of a leader
who ONLY uses your brain, you’ll end up imposing the results of your research
as the general findings and stand of your group without any consideration of
your group members’ background. Which will lead to forced stand.
You just forced 3 of your group members to
take your stand they don’t personally believe in. They cry themselves at night
afraid that their souls will burn in hell because they were forced to take a
stand opposite to the teachings of their faith. In church, they suddenly
distanced themselves to their church friends. Ashamed of the fact that they
were forced to participate in a case study where, they could’ve given their own
additional alternatives to the alternatives based on their personal opinions
and teachings, if only given a chance. –If only you were sensitive enough to
ask your members’ take on the case.
-Scenario 2-
Office Situation: Over-time pay
Background: Your subordinate asked you to
sign his overtime slip. You refuse to sign it and said; “It’s part of your job.
Why would you file it as overtime? You shouldn’t. You should love your work to
the point that working extra hour should be treated as reflection of your love
for work. Look at me. I stay here overtime. I work more than 12 hours. I stay
late here because I love my job. You should to!”
Result: Your subordinate went home to his
family. His wife is very angry at him and suspects he’s having an affair
because he stayed late at work. His youngest daughter asked if he was able to
grab a treat on his way home. He said he couldn’t because he doesn’t have the
money. His eldest son asked for money for a school project. He was forced to
give the money he had left on his wallet that he saved for his transportation.
On their fridge (that doesn’t work), he saw a disconnection notice from
Meralco. And oh! His wife is 2 months pregnant to their third baby.
Your subordinate earns P16,000.00/mo. –net.
While you earn P30,000.00/mo. – and you
don’t have children to send to school because your children are old enough and
are working too. Surely, you love your job. Everyone is happy for you.
Congratulations!
Being a leader doesn’t only call for a
brain that knows everything. Being a leader also calls for a person who has the
heart to put his/herself in other people’s shoes. The sensitivity to know
people and look at them not just as followers but family too. The passion to help
people to do better not just as an employee, but a person.
Wew! That was long! But not as long as the
time I have to spend to be able to realize that. J
3.
The Maturity: Not the age.- the psychological
and emotional maturity (google: EQ). There’s no such thing as a perfect leader.
Nope. That’s just impossible. Master Oogway was great! But he was a turtle. And
he’s a cartoon character. So, No. there’s no such thing as a perfect leader.
Maturity and Adaptability. Maturity in
knowing that people are different and respect individuality. The ability in
making mature adjustments for people of age, race, culture, tradition and
backgrounds. –among other things.
Maturity in leadership is the ability to
take on all covered and uncovered duties with strong sense of responsibility.
The ability to make sound decisions based on the group’s collaborative effort.
And the ability to take ownership of the results or consequences of actions
taken.
Maturity is the ability to know when to
stand as the lead authority and when to let your followers take the lead.
Maturity is the ability to take criticism
constructively and not take it as a personal attack or attack on your
delegation.
-Scenario-
Situation: Subordinate Suggestion
Background: Your subordinate had been asking
you about the plan specifics for an upcoming event. He had been asking you for
two weeks now because he needs to finish all the schedule plot to avoid system
over-rides. Two weeks passed, you didn’t gave him any update on the event. Then
1:34 A.M. of the day of the event, you asked him to plot a schedule for 2
personnel. You knew schedules are plotted for 2weeks because of the Scheduling
system. A single change on the plot would require re-work on rearrangements.
Not to mention, system over-ride. Your subordinated plotted everything upon
your request. It required him to do everything all over again. Your subordinate
then sent you a message: “Dear Leader, I’ve arranged everything just as you
requested. Please note that schedules are plotted for 2week-basis. In the
future, if you wish to have an arrangement for any events, kindly let me know
in advance to avoid system overrides. I’d appreciate it very much. Thank you!”
Which you replied with: “Okay. Next time,
you do my job if you’re that good.”
Your subordinate was tempted to reply:
“Sure! Quit your job and let me take your place and I will prove you that
planning is easy if you schedule everything correctly. And if you have plans
for upcoming events, you could at least give a suggested plot to work on as
Plot Template 2.”
-he thought about it but he didn’t replied
to your message because he was more mature than you.
The next day, you gave everyone in the
office bars of chocolates.-aside from your subordinate who plotted everything
at 2:00 A.M. and who will spend the whole day correcting all the system
override all because of your poor planning.
You knew he love chocolates. So, middle
finger goes to you for excluding him! And middle finger goes to you for being a
bully! And middle finger goes to you for misleading everyone with your smooth
talks. They don’t have any idea. You’re just another wanna-be who can’t fully
deliver your false-promises.
4.
The “Selfless” Mentality: A leader doesn’t have
to know everything. It is never required for a leader to have all abilities
known to man. Therefore, a leader should be selfless in a sense that he/she
should not take everything for his/herself.
This is something people often mistook
about leadership. That a leader must have all the qualities required of the
job. –Wrong!
Only really great leaders know, that they
don’t have to stick their heads on everything to gain everything. All they need
to do is to have the smarts to choose the right combination of people to
deliver the best job there is.
If you want to be a great leader, choose
people who are way smarter that you. People who are willing to go the extra
distance for you. People who knows how to dance to any rhythm. People who are
willing to get theirs hands dirty. People who are willing to sweat. People who are
willing to crawl. People who knows how to have fun!
A great leader is the one who knows the
flow of action is not centered or focused at him/her. But on the people he/she
was able to build up. The one who knows that people are the center of
everything. Not him. Not her. –but the people.
A great leader is the one who acknowledges
the need of his/her people for supplementary nourishment. Someone who knows how
to share his/her knowledge to everyone. Keeping in mind that well-informed, and
well-equipped soldiers make the best army.
5.
The “Sharing” Mentality: see number 4. This is
just an additional. Please share that potato chips you have inside your drawer.
You’ll never know the magic a bag of potato chips can make to people and
relationships if you keep that bag all for yourself. Share the obesity factor.
Thank you!
6.
The Confidence: Not self-confidence. –but the
confidence in others. I’ve met lots and lots of talented leaders before.
Leaders who are not afraid to face people, tell them what to do and so on.
Self-confidence for people born with the talent and the smarts is not so hard
to achieve. It is innate. But confidence in others, now that’s something any
leader has to work on. The confidence that even if you don’t lift a finger, or
say a word. You just know your followers will do the act. The confidence in
your people that they can deliver a great job. The confidence in others that
they can do it with or without you. The confidence that you place in your
people’s hands that they will not fail. For the essence of leadership, is
actually creating new leaders.
You can’t call yourself a leader if you
can’t even trust your people to do their jobs. Taking care of things on your
own doesn’t make you a great leader. Helping people become dependable and
reliable. –that’s what makes you one.
Hindi leader ang tawag sa mga tao na walang
tiwala at nangbi-baby sa subordinates nya. Lola ang tawag dun. Malaki ang
kaibahan ng dalawa.
7.
The “Just” Mentality: A leader must show and
reflect justice and fairness in all aspects. Having pets are normal. But as a
leader, you of all people should know that paying someone more favorable
attention compared with others does not and will not help anyone in your group. It
would only promote insecurity, envy and unhealthy competition.
8.
The General’s Dignity: covers the ability to
stand for your people. To represent them.
Ever wonder why generals still fight in
battle along side their soldiers? Because in the battle field, a general is no
different to a soldier. Whatever battle your soldier is going through, you
should be there, fighting with them. Leading the way. Taking charge.
You shouldn’t call yourself a leader if you
do not have the guts to step up and speak up for your people.
“Nagugutom na yung tao mo. Ni hindi mo sila
mabigyan ng tinapay. Tinatapak-tapakan na sila, ni hindi mo sila maipaglaban.
Bakit ka pa nandyan kung wala ka naman palang silbi? Hala. Umuwi ka nalang at
maghugas ng plato!”
9. The NO-BULLSHIT-ATTITUDE: As a leader, you are required to be sensitive in handling your people. but don't get this wrong. too much sensitivity can sometimes result to sugar-coating. instead of giving your people the real score, you end up giving them false hopes that everything's okay even when it's not.
You can still be sensitive without compromising honesty. when time comes your team needs to perform, give them the right expectations. never mislead them.
if things aren't working the way they should, them let them know. -they deserve to know the truth.
if you can't give them the assistance that they need, then be honest and let them know you need help.
9. The NO-BULLSHIT-ATTITUDE: As a leader, you are required to be sensitive in handling your people. but don't get this wrong. too much sensitivity can sometimes result to sugar-coating. instead of giving your people the real score, you end up giving them false hopes that everything's okay even when it's not.
You can still be sensitive without compromising honesty. when time comes your team needs to perform, give them the right expectations. never mislead them.
if things aren't working the way they should, them let them know. -they deserve to know the truth.
if you can't give them the assistance that they need, then be honest and let them know you need help.
if someone from your team misbehaves, give them the right to explain why they acted that way. -if it's unreasonable, then give them the discipline they deserve.
Never mislead your team in believing you got everything covered for them. -you can only try.
Wag paniwalain ang mga tao na sandalan ka nila, kung anytime, very willing kang ilaglag sila sa mga alanganing sitwasyon. nakaka-bullshit yon.
Never mislead your team in believing you got everything covered for them. -you can only try.
Wag paniwalain ang mga tao na sandalan ka nila, kung anytime, very willing kang ilaglag sila sa mga alanganing sitwasyon. nakaka-bullshit yon.
Notes to Company Owners in choosing your Leaders:
I have given you a list of qualities of a leader in addition
to the cliché requirements. This shall make it easier for you to make
appropriate decisions with regards to choosing or promoting people to take on
leadership positions.
I just want to add the “Don’t choose” part:
1.
Don’t choose people who prioritize work over
family. –frankly. You think you hit the jackpot when you hired or promoted
someone who prioritize work because you see them as business grower. NO! You’re
wrong. They are robots who doesn’t have life (if not living a miserable life).
They are fast workers, always at the office, stays late at the office. –yes.
But not because they love their job. It just happened that they don’t want to
be at or have anything to do at home. Or outside. That’s why they’d rather
spend their hours working.
Then they got used to it so much that they led
themselves into believing that they love their job. They are the kind of people
who always says “Yes sir.” “Aye, Sir!” “I’ll do it.” etc. They work. But they
don’t give you the best results. They work. But they don’t deliver excellent
job. Why? Because they don’t have a life! Workaholics are not the most
motivated people at the office because they lack inspiration. They are the type
of people who makes the office vibes negative.
They are the black-and-white
only people. They are the kind who only sees what’s wrong. They rarely
acknowledge great work by other people. They look at smart subordinates as competition
that they have to kill as soon as possible. They are lifeless, colorless
people. Imagine life without yellow! Green! Blue! Pink! Imagine. NO Pink!!!
Your office will be such a sad, sad place to work in. People will work, yes.
But not because they love what they do, or who they work with. But because they
need to have the money to feed their families. –and that’s that. 90% of
workaholics are like what I’ve mentioned above. You rarely meet a workaholic
person who smiles with so much life!
2.
Don’t choose people just because of their
loyalty. I don’t know. But it’s been a Filipino culture to promote people just
because they stayed with the company for so long. And companies often give
promotion to a higher level position as a reward.
WRONG!
Promotions should not
be treated just as a reward. -But acknowledgement of Great Work done by a
person. Promotions are for people who work their ass off for the benefit of the
company. For people who handle 5-man jobs. People who handle multiple works all
at the same time. Promotions are for people who reflect and perform the right qualities.
People who actually walk the talk. People who goes above and beyond the job
description to deliver results.
The thing with promoting people just
because they stayed with the company for so long is that it gives the
impression that as long as you stay, you’ll get promoted. So just stay. That’s
all you need to do. Even if you don’t perform well, as long as you stay, you’ll
be a manager. Even if you don’t have a right qualities, as long as you stay,
you’ll be the department head. Kahit tanga ka pa, magiging mataas ang
katungkulan mo. At kapag mataas na katungkulan mo, wala ka nang gagawin.
Tititigan mo nalang computer mo at magpapanggap kang busy ka. Kunwari, may
ginagawa ka pa. kapag wala si boss, mag gupit ka ng kuko every-other day. O
kaya mag bunot ng kilay. O uban. O uban sa kilay.
Rewards system is so sick that it gives
power to the wrong people to command effective, talented people.
The result: Talents, wasted. Smarts,
wasted. Soon, those talented and smart people will become weary and tired being
led by the wrong leaders. If they are brave, they’ll pack their things and
leave. If they’re afraid, sad thing. They will grow old having the same mind
set as those people whose names appear on the upper level of the ladder. –another
tragedy in the making.
Note: Giving power to the wrong people.
That’s the biggest mistake any company or company owners can make.
Same goes to the government. Come 2016,
same cycle will take place. –unless we change the habit.
3.
Don’t choose people who just tells you stuff.
People will tell you anything you want to hear. Especially if you have the
money, the means, the power. Business is politics. And you will be surrounded
by politicians who will feed your ears with beautiful lies. You will give in,
of course. Because what they say is so nice that they make you believe they are
your savior. Feel free to give in. –if you’re weak. But, if you still have
strength, run! If you have the smarts, then, out-wit them! These people are the
kind of people who will play strings to get what they want from you. So, beware.
These are just raw realizations on
leadership. My views are still subject to change. I’m still looking for great
influences who can help me balance my perspectives.
Most people will say that it’s difficult to
find people with the qualities I’ve mentioned.
It is very difficult. Yes. –but not
impossible.
I am very fortunate that I was able to find
3 people who have the qualities I have mentioned. I would love to become the 4th.
Goal set. I’m on the move.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
a tea time conversation with a soul
a tea time conversation with a soul
is this the only life you can live?
is this the only kingdom you can rule?
are those the only warriors you can lead?
is that the only thing you can do?
as the wind blows, it whispers....
now that i learn to understand you more,
i can't help but feel sorry for you.
for i know you can do better than that.
you have your strengths, yet you chose to take advantage of your people's weakness instead.
you could have been better than what you are now.
you could have had my respect.
our good Lord, gave you a fair position.
a position where you could mold. teach.
not corrupt your people off their innocence.
He gave you a public.
a public that is so willing to follow you to whatever end,
if only you chose to guide them by good example.
you have the power to change their lives.
give them the chance to grow,
to broaden their minds.
to widen their horizon...
you could have showed them how to succeed.excel.
you have the power to help them reach their goals.
the power to bring their potential into reality.
you have the power to help them.
you have been given the privilege of intelligence.
yet you chose to use it for yourself...
and only, for yourself.
you could have lead them.
teach them how to lead their own lives.
yet you chose not to.
focusing on the benefit you can achieve leaving them doomed. leaving them without a hope for a better future.
keeping them imprisoned under your wings,
when you knew, you could have taught them how to fly. soar!
you could have done that.
but you chose not to.
our good Lord, gave you a chance.
the chance to make a difference.
but you neglected it.
you've had all the resources.
it could have prospered.
if only you chose to enrich it, not abuse it.
it is indeed, sad, to see you like this.
it hurts me to watch you burn.
burn by your greed. selfishness.
day...by day.... by day.
i ask, how could you be so reckless? heartless?
you were born so strong.
not to belittle those who are weak.
but to help them to be the best they can be.
you could have done what was right.
yet you've chosen not to.
you could have reached further.
you could have earned your people's faith.
you could have lead your life to great, great places.
you could have achieved more.
if only you did what was ought for you to do.
are you even happy?
do you feel fulfilled?
some people might envy you for the power that you have now.
the power you hold over your unfortunate people.
but i am not one of those people.
i can not be blinded by your great disguise.
i see you...
i see you...
it is indeed, sad, to see you like this.
it hurts me to watch you burn.
burn by your greed. selfishness.
day...by day.... by day.
if only you did what was ought for you to do...
then you could have been...
a much better version of your self...
oh dear! my cup is empty.
would you mind for another cup?
*poink! (o_O)_\m/
is this the only kingdom you can rule?
are those the only warriors you can lead?
is that the only thing you can do?
as the wind blows, it whispers....
now that i learn to understand you more,
i can't help but feel sorry for you.
for i know you can do better than that.
you have your strengths, yet you chose to take advantage of your people's weakness instead.
you could have been better than what you are now.
you could have had my respect.
our good Lord, gave you a fair position.
a position where you could mold. teach.
not corrupt your people off their innocence.
He gave you a public.
a public that is so willing to follow you to whatever end,
if only you chose to guide them by good example.
you have the power to change their lives.
give them the chance to grow,
to broaden their minds.
to widen their horizon...
you could have showed them how to succeed.excel.
you have the power to help them reach their goals.
the power to bring their potential into reality.
you have the power to help them.
you have been given the privilege of intelligence.
yet you chose to use it for yourself...
and only, for yourself.
you could have lead them.
teach them how to lead their own lives.
yet you chose not to.
focusing on the benefit you can achieve leaving them doomed. leaving them without a hope for a better future.
keeping them imprisoned under your wings,
when you knew, you could have taught them how to fly. soar!
you could have done that.
but you chose not to.
our good Lord, gave you a chance.
the chance to make a difference.
but you neglected it.
you've had all the resources.
it could have prospered.
if only you chose to enrich it, not abuse it.
it is indeed, sad, to see you like this.
it hurts me to watch you burn.
burn by your greed. selfishness.
day...by day.... by day.
i ask, how could you be so reckless? heartless?
you were born so strong.
not to belittle those who are weak.
but to help them to be the best they can be.
you could have done what was right.
yet you've chosen not to.
you could have reached further.
you could have earned your people's faith.
you could have lead your life to great, great places.
you could have achieved more.
if only you did what was ought for you to do.
are you even happy?
do you feel fulfilled?
some people might envy you for the power that you have now.
the power you hold over your unfortunate people.
but i am not one of those people.
i can not be blinded by your great disguise.
i see you...
i see you...
it is indeed, sad, to see you like this.
it hurts me to watch you burn.
burn by your greed. selfishness.
day...by day.... by day.
if only you did what was ought for you to do...
then you could have been...
a much better version of your self...
oh dear! my cup is empty.
would you mind for another cup?
*poink! (o_O)_\m/
On Love and Relationships
MY EARS ARE ALL OPEN WHEN YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THINGS
"MY EARS ARE ALL OPEN WHEN YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THINGS. MY MIND, AND MY HEART, WILL UNDERSTAND YOUR WORDS NO MATTER HOW DREADFUL IT IS. TALK, AND I WILL LISTEN. EXPRESS, AND I WILL UNDERSTAND. I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU. NO. I WOULDN'T DO THAT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. ALL POSSIBILITIES ARE WELCOME. I AM READY TO ACCEPT YOUR TRUTH. I WILL GIVE YOU TIME AND SPACE FOR YOU TO GROW. AND WHEN IN TIME, YOU FIND ME NOT SUITABLE, IF ONE TIME, YOU FIND ME UNWORTHY OF YOUR LOVE, COME AND TALK TO ME. I WILL LISTEN. AND I WILL NOT JUDGE. I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH THAT I AM WILLING TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED EVEN FREEDOM. BUT FOR NOW, LET'S SAVOR THE MOMENT WE HAVE. AND LET US NOT DO CRAZY THINGS THAT WILL DESTROY WHAT WE WORKED HARD FOR IN YEARS. I LOVE YOU."
this is what i always say to my bf whenever we had serious talks... this is not a "guilt crusher". this is simply, my way of letting him know that he can trust me. that he can tell me anyhting. that no matter how bad things get, i will always listen to him, and i will always try to understand. this is not easy... especially when deep emotions are attached. but i am lucky, that in time, we both helped each other how to grow... we taught each other how to trust each other and respect our differences. we've had clutters too. and sure as the sun, we will have more. our relationship, is a continuous process of learning and discovery. i can say that i owe him a lot... and he too, learned a lot from me. that, i am certain.
we have this relationship which is quite similar to others. we've had problems, issues, fights, laughs, talks (millions of it), tantrums, everything.
just like other couples, we've had times when we just want to give up.
but we never let that happen.
because, at the end of the day, we always end up patching things, making amends, reconcillation, peace.
we always end up together. because, we just couldn't let go.
no.
no matter how worst we are as a couple.
no matter how our smarts always clash.
no matter how naggy i am.
no matter how bad his temper is...
no matter how imperfect we are as individuals - and as a couple.
we just couldn't let go.
we just couldn't leave each other to rot in our baddness.
no.
no matter how bad things get.
i couldn't leave him.
and he couldn't leave me.
because we both knew, we love each other and that we have to stay together to help bring out the best in ourselves, and our relationship.
we are not perfect.
we will never be.
but i hope, our relationship, our respect, trust and understanding,
can help those who feel like giving up, and letting each other go because of betrayal, pain, hurt.
i would like to share my thoughts,
so it may help others.
there are people, who uses leaving as a threat... ito yung nakakalungkot... na parang ginagawa nilang punishment ang pangiiwan sa isang taong pumalyang paligayahin sila...
this, i learned through time...
that no matter how you love each other, there will always come a point na madidisappoint ka ng taong mahal mo at inaasahan mong magmamahal at magaalaga sayo...
ito ang mali sa ibang tao...
at naging mali ko dati.
i expected too much.
like, "I AM HONEST. SO BE HONEST TO ME. I AM LOYAL SO YOU SHOULD BE LOYAL. I AM THIS, YOU SHOULD BE LIKE THIS. I AM ALL THAT GOOD SO YOU SHOULD BE GOOD BECAUSE I DESERVE IT." maraming tao ang may ganyang mentality. TRUE. EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED RIGHT. EVERONE DESERVES THE BEST.
but, it always depends on the capabilty of the other person. we don't have the power to impose our views to our partners as much as they can not impose all their beliefs in us. maraming tao ang, "niloko nya ako... ginago nya ako... tinanga nya ako...kaya dapat iwan ko sya." nang hindi manlang iniisip, kung nagawa ba nila ng maayos at mabuti ang part nila bilang partner.
dahil kung nagawa mo talaga ang dapat mong gawin, at nagampanan mo ang role mo, bilang partner, walang rason para bumitaw ka... dahil kaya ka nga nandyan, para turuan sya, at para hindi iasa ang trabaho ng pagbabago sa kanya...
AS A PARTNER, YOU SHOULD GIVE IT YOUR BEST TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOUR OTHER HALF. hindi yung lugmok na nga yung tao, iiwan mo pa sa ere...
ang lahat ay nadadaan sa usapan...
halimbawang niloko ka ng partner mo, hindi tamang basta exit ka nalang dhil nasaktan ka...
bilang tao, may kapasidad kang mag-isip ng tama...
at may kakayahan kang tumulong.
tumulong ka hangga't makakaya mo...
pwede kang tumulong ng hindi ka nagpapaloko...
hindi mo kailangang maging martir at lunukin ang panloloko...
pero, maniwala kang, higit kaninu man, ikaw ang may higit na kapangyarihan para itama ang anumang mali...
hayaan mong bukas ang iyong puso para tulungang mabago ang dapat mabago...
ang pangiiwan sa taong minamahal ay palatandaan ng kahinaan...
hindi mo masasabing mahal mong tunay ang isang tao kung agad-agad mo lang syang tatalikuran.
this is what i always say to my bf whenever we had serious talks... this is not a "guilt crusher". this is simply, my way of letting him know that he can trust me. that he can tell me anyhting. that no matter how bad things get, i will always listen to him, and i will always try to understand. this is not easy... especially when deep emotions are attached. but i am lucky, that in time, we both helped each other how to grow... we taught each other how to trust each other and respect our differences. we've had clutters too. and sure as the sun, we will have more. our relationship, is a continuous process of learning and discovery. i can say that i owe him a lot... and he too, learned a lot from me. that, i am certain.
we have this relationship which is quite similar to others. we've had problems, issues, fights, laughs, talks (millions of it), tantrums, everything.
just like other couples, we've had times when we just want to give up.
but we never let that happen.
because, at the end of the day, we always end up patching things, making amends, reconcillation, peace.
we always end up together. because, we just couldn't let go.
no.
no matter how worst we are as a couple.
no matter how our smarts always clash.
no matter how naggy i am.
no matter how bad his temper is...
no matter how imperfect we are as individuals - and as a couple.
we just couldn't let go.
we just couldn't leave each other to rot in our baddness.
no.
no matter how bad things get.
i couldn't leave him.
and he couldn't leave me.
because we both knew, we love each other and that we have to stay together to help bring out the best in ourselves, and our relationship.
we are not perfect.
we will never be.
but i hope, our relationship, our respect, trust and understanding,
can help those who feel like giving up, and letting each other go because of betrayal, pain, hurt.
i would like to share my thoughts,
so it may help others.
there are people, who uses leaving as a threat... ito yung nakakalungkot... na parang ginagawa nilang punishment ang pangiiwan sa isang taong pumalyang paligayahin sila...
this, i learned through time...
that no matter how you love each other, there will always come a point na madidisappoint ka ng taong mahal mo at inaasahan mong magmamahal at magaalaga sayo...
ito ang mali sa ibang tao...
at naging mali ko dati.
i expected too much.
like, "I AM HONEST. SO BE HONEST TO ME. I AM LOYAL SO YOU SHOULD BE LOYAL. I AM THIS, YOU SHOULD BE LIKE THIS. I AM ALL THAT GOOD SO YOU SHOULD BE GOOD BECAUSE I DESERVE IT." maraming tao ang may ganyang mentality. TRUE. EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED RIGHT. EVERONE DESERVES THE BEST.
but, it always depends on the capabilty of the other person. we don't have the power to impose our views to our partners as much as they can not impose all their beliefs in us. maraming tao ang, "niloko nya ako... ginago nya ako... tinanga nya ako...kaya dapat iwan ko sya." nang hindi manlang iniisip, kung nagawa ba nila ng maayos at mabuti ang part nila bilang partner.
dahil kung nagawa mo talaga ang dapat mong gawin, at nagampanan mo ang role mo, bilang partner, walang rason para bumitaw ka... dahil kaya ka nga nandyan, para turuan sya, at para hindi iasa ang trabaho ng pagbabago sa kanya...
AS A PARTNER, YOU SHOULD GIVE IT YOUR BEST TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOUR OTHER HALF. hindi yung lugmok na nga yung tao, iiwan mo pa sa ere...
ang lahat ay nadadaan sa usapan...
halimbawang niloko ka ng partner mo, hindi tamang basta exit ka nalang dhil nasaktan ka...
bilang tao, may kapasidad kang mag-isip ng tama...
at may kakayahan kang tumulong.
tumulong ka hangga't makakaya mo...
pwede kang tumulong ng hindi ka nagpapaloko...
hindi mo kailangang maging martir at lunukin ang panloloko...
pero, maniwala kang, higit kaninu man, ikaw ang may higit na kapangyarihan para itama ang anumang mali...
hayaan mong bukas ang iyong puso para tulungang mabago ang dapat mabago...
ang pangiiwan sa taong minamahal ay palatandaan ng kahinaan...
hindi mo masasabing mahal mong tunay ang isang tao kung agad-agad mo lang syang tatalikuran.
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