Wednesday, May 27, 2015

NEVER HIRE A FREE-SPIRIT



NEVER HIRE A FREE-SPIRIT
If you’re the kind of boss who loves to order people around.
Who spend every minute of every hour texting or making phone calls
Just to whine about how difficult your life is as a boss.

Free-spirits aren’t the best shock absorbents.

Free-spirits aren’t afraid to tell you how annoying you are
And how you waste your time, effort and money complaining
Instead of making solutions. –and how you waste their precious time when they’re actually
creating solutions for you.


Free-spirits aren’t afraid to tell, right at your face how your
negativity isn’t helping you or the people around you at all.

Free-spirits aren’t afraid to say “That’s bullshit!” when you give threats.
-most of them already seen worse.
The only fear they have is to be infected of Brain Inefficiency Virus.

Free-spirits aren’t afraid to confront you when you’re making
Bad decisions or when you swoon impulsively into situations you can’t really deal with.
-they have super creative minds and restless brains.
They just happen to know the kind of people who can actually do the job.

They find complaining without solution very immature.
So, you might experience a lot of upfront sarcasm.


Free-spirits aren’t afraid to say what’s on their minds.
They care less if people appreciate their honesty or not.
They don’t do things to please people.
-they do things because they can.

They know they’re not dogs.
They won’t work for you.
But they’re more than willing to work WITH you.

They have the habit of being honest to their graves.
Even if it means hurting your ego.
That’s because they’re not after your favor.
They’re after spending their time productively.
-like REALLY productively.


They don’t fit in the office environment very well.
Free-spirits hate politics.
They don’t care who’s on top of the ladder.
 they can work without having to gain everyone’s favor.
-and that is a serious threat for a highly political corporate zombie zone.

They do things the way they want to do them.
-most of the time, out of office standards.
Which is unconventional, yet very effective.

when there's a meeting and you call for a vote then everyone says "yes" to everything you say, most of the time, free-spirits would say "That's crap!". -simply because they know zombies don't have brains so, all they can say is "yes". 


they are warriors.
they have souls that no one can tame.

They have their own minds.
They see things differently.
Do things differently.


And they’re not serious by the way.
They work with 10% corporate discipline, 40% God knows what and 50% combination of commonsense and sense of humor.
They’re not afraid to lose their jobs.
They have very little care about money.


But once they find you unworthy of their talents,
They’re not afraid to bid you goodbye.

So, if you’re not ready to take the leap.
If you’re not ready to make a change.
If you’re not ready to grow.
If you’re not ready to soar.
If you lack the highest form of sensibility.
If you’re not ready to really succeed…


Then, never hire a free-spirit.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

She


She’s got that look of a sophisticated woman.
She handles herself very well.
She speaks with such smoothness one can only find in silk.
She laughs.
She pleases.
She deals with a lot of people and always makes sure she gets what she wants.

Everyone thinks she’s perfect.
-she makes sure everyone will think that way.

But then, she never knew me. –she didn’t expect she’d fail with me.

She smiles. But her eyes were shallow.
It might have that glow before. –but I wasn’t fortunate to see it now.
Her smooth talks caught me for quite some time.
But at some point, she sang out of tune.
She failed to hit the notes. She missed connecting the dots.
And I just can’t help myself.
A looked deeper… through her eyes. –she didn’t know I saw her.
She talked. – I didn’t just listen, I absorbed every word.
She didn’t know I have ears. –and that I take words as breakfast.

She tried to make me believe everything she said.
But I’ve seen enough. Heard enough. Felt enough.

She failed.
And she didn’t like the feeling that someone like me saw right through her.

I asked her if we can grab a coffee somewhere.
I wanted to tell her what I saw. -I wanted to tell her that it's okay.
that if she'd just let herself free, there's a greater chance of
her getting better. -and that she need not to hide.
But she declined my invitation.
-she was afraid of what I’ll say.

She was afraid that someone finally knew her nakedness.
Her weak spot.
She was afraid that someone finally saw what she’s been trying to hide for so long.
-she worked so hard to hide it. Because she doesn’t want people to see.
All her stories were filled of her name.
How she's doing lots of things “to help” others.
How she looks for every opportunity to extend her “generous hands”.
How her heart pours out to those who are helpless.

She is working hard. – So people would applaud her. Admire her. Envy her.
Because that’s the only thing she could do to feel that she’s still beautiful. Powerful. In control.

She failed.

She makes sure her hair is always smooth. -No one touches them but her.
She put on those pretty dresses. -Everyone notices. But what she’s really yearning for is someone who would love to take them off at night. In bed. And dream of her until the morning breaks.

She got those polished pointed shoes. -Her feet inside were dry.
She works all day. -She didn’t know her son missed his lunch.
She works all night. -Because her husband doesn’t touch her anymore. His hands still has that other girl’s perfume. She hates him. But she couldn’t leave. She can’t remember how orgasm feels like.
She couldn’t leave him because of their children. – Children who doesn’t see her as a mother anymore.
She couldn’t leave him because she doesn’t want people to see she failed achieving her fairy tale.
She couldn’t leave the man she hates and who doesn’t love her anymore. –because she cares for the name, more than anything.

She wouldn’t let go of her pride.
She’d rather suffer living her miserable life because she can’t afford to fail.

She keeps on wanting to achieve things. –she knows they can’t help her get her husband back. But at least, achievements can cover the wounds.

But she can’t get her mind off her failures. –so she kept on failing. One step after another. Failing.

She doesn’t want to accept defeat.

Her ego is what keeps her alive.

She will keep controlling people around her. –that’s her only way to feel strong.

She’ll keep on fighting until the very end. –pretending her heart is pure. Hiding her wounds.

The day ends. She goes home. She ate out and brought pizza for her kids for dinner. She doesn’t cook because she’s afraid it would taste as bitter as her wounds.

The man of the house came home. Asked the kids how their day was.
She wanted to tell him how hers went. –but he went straight upstairs. He didn’t even look at her.
She asked him if he had dinner. He plainly said “I’m done.”
She heard him make a phone call. He spoke in a very low voice.
She heard him say “see you tomorrow.” –at least he has something to look forward to.
She combed her hair. Looking at her shallow eyes in the mirror.
She remember how they’d glow. –it was a long time ago.

It’s night time. She makes a late night call. “Do this… Blah-blah.”



She lay in bed at night. Beside her was a man she called husband once. She stays awake.
With fear of having her reality as a dream. Her heart wants to burst. She lays beside the man she hates.

She didn’t know what’s next. –she said yes to everything because she didn’t understand anything at all.

She was blinded by her ego to stay alive.-and on top of things.

She doesn’t have anyone to talk to. –because she can’t let anyone know she failed.

It’s 3 A.M.
She’s tired. Her eyes started to close.

Beside her lay a man who doesn’t love her. Doesn’t want her anymore.
He whispered a name. –it wasn’t hers.

She slept. She needs strength to survive her show tomorrow. 

Friday, May 22, 2015

ANG BUHAY NG LANGGAM. BOW.


Noong unang panahon, sa malaking lumapain ng Halandia,
Lupang pangako ng mga langgam na puti, may hinirang na pambihirang inang reyna.

Hindi batid ng buong ka-langgaman kung saan nagmula ang reyna…
Ayon sa kanya, sya ay nagmula sa katas-taasang lugar ng Matipunong Lupang Lalaki, kung saan niya nalinang ang kakayahang mamumo.

Tuwang-tuwa ang buong ka-langgaman dahil saw akas ay nabiyayaan sila ng inang reynang ubod ng talino.

Sa kaharian, nagumpisang magbigay ng tungkulin ang ingang reyna…

Inang Reyna: Langgam, ikaw ang nais kong maging taga-habi ng ating mga kasuotan.
Langgem, ikaw naman ang magiging taga-pangasiwa sa mga itlog sa narseri.
Langgim, ikaw naman ang aking taga-hatid-sulat sa ibang kaharian.
Langgom, ikaw ang aking sundalo. Ikaw ang haharap sa anumang banta ng panganib.
Langgum, ikaw ang aking ingat-yaman.

Masaya ang lahat sa kanilang mga tungkulin. Sobrang excited si Langgem dahil mahilig sya sa mga baby na langgamito.

Langgum: “Sobrang saya ko, dahil saw akas ay mabibigyang saysay ko na ang aking inaral ng napahabang panahon!”

Langgom: “Ako rin… saw akas ay mapapakinabangan ko na ang mga muscles ko.”

Langgam: “Anong kulay ng kasuotan ang nais ninyong suotin?”

Langgem: “nais ko ay kulay bughaw na tulad ng sa langit… dahil yun ay tamang kulay sa mata ng mga langgamito.”

Masayang natapos ang gabi at mahimbing na natulog ang lahat…

Kinabukasan…

Inang Reyna: “Langgam, nais kong pumunta ka sa kaharian ni Haring Dyali-Bee upang i-renew and ating Peace Agreement.”

Langgam: “Inang reyna, hindi ko po alam kung saan ang kaharian ng mga bubuyog… at hindi po ako marunong magsalita ng Dyali-Dyali.”

Inang Reyna: “Basta! Pumunta ka roon at sundin ang inutos ko.”

Langgam: “nasaan po ba si Langgim? Marahil ay maari nya akong tulungan?”

Inang Reyna: “Si Langgim ay nasa narseri. Nagaalaga ng mga langgamito.”

Langgam: “PO? Hindi ba’t si Langgem ang dapat nangangasiwa noon?”

Inang Reyna: “Si Langgem ay ipinadala ko sa Giyera sa timog kung saan nanggugulo ang mga Beetle. “ (Ano bang tagalog ng beetle?)…

Langgam: “Po? Ngunit mabait na nars si Langgem. Hindi po sya pandigma na tulad ni Langgom.”

Inang Reyna: “Si Langgom ay pinapunta ko sa Kaharian ni Thumbelina upang itanong kung saan sya nagpa-rebond. Gusto ko yung straight hair ni Thumbelina ngayon. Ang lakas maka-Sam Pinto ng dating. At yung bangs nyang parang sa isang bata duns a Team Kramer.”


Langgam: “Pano poi to? Hindi kop o alam ang aking gagawin… pero sige po, susubukan ko. Meron nap o bang liham na aking ihahatid?”

Inang Reyna: “Wala ata…? Gumawa ka nalang.”
Teka, wla pala tayong tinta. Sumisid ka muna sa dagat pasipiko at humingi ng tinta kay Haring Pusit.”

Langgam: “Ngunit Inang Reyna, wala na pong libre sa panahon ngayon. Maari ppo ba akong humingi ng cash kay Langgum?”

Inang Reyna: “Wala si Langgum. Pinapunta ko sya sa aking tunay na tirahan upang labhan ang kabundok kong mga gown.”


Kinagabihan…



Umuwing pilay si Langgam dahil tinorture sya sa Kaharian ni Haring Dyali-Bee dahil hindi sya marunong magsalita ng Dyali-Dyali.
Si Langgem ay pumanaw sa battle field sa dahilang wala syang dalang sandata ng ipina-dala sya sa giyera sa timog.
Si Langgim ay kinain ng buhay ng mga Langgamito dahil kulay pula ang kanyang suot. Bawal ang red sa narseri. Bad color.
Si Langgom ay isa nang parlorista. Career shift.
At si Langgum ay naputulan ng legs sa dami ng gown na nilabhan.
Hindi na sya makakahawak ng calculator magpakailanman.

Hindi naglaon ay bumagsak ang buong Kalanggaman dahil hindi nagawa ng bawat isa ang kanilang mga tungkulin dulot ng kaguluhan.



Napag-alamang si Inang Reyna pala ay Tutubi at nagcostume lang bilang Kalanggaman.


Moral Lesson: Kumain ng tanghalian sa tamang oras.
Ang Lunch Hour ay 12:00 PM to 1PM.

Isang oras ang lunch break. HINDI 30 minutes.

Monday, April 13, 2015

LEADERSHIP: Must-have Qualities of a Leader and Aspiring Leaders (Plus Notes to Company Owners in choosing people to Lead)


There’s this line from the movie Spiderman that I love the most: “Great power comes with great responsibilities.”

I find this very, very true.

I grew up volunteering myself as a leader whenever given a chance. Until I came to a point where, I got tired of all the b.s. and run away.

I came to a point of admitting that I do not have the right qualities of a great leader. –yet.



So, I decided to pack my things and move my feet with the hope of finding myself a sensei who will teach me how. –Lucky me. I found one.

What I learned from this person is both a surprise and not. Actually, I realized that I took leadership the wrong way that I ended up lost in the wrong thought of the whole leadership thing.
So, with this note, I would like to share what I’ve learned from the greatest leader I now know.

What is Leadership?



We often get “Leadership is the art and science of leading a group of people, directing, controlling and giving commands to achieve a common goal” as the answer to this question.

And yes. That is true.

But if we dig deeper as to the real meaning and purpose of leadership, what do we get then?

None. There’s no real and definite answer to that.
Why? Because if you are really born to lead, you’ll sure end up realizing what leadership means to YOU.


Leadership is influencing individuals and groups of people to move with their best efforts to achieve the highest possible peak they have for themselves. –the common goal will be achieved afterwards. Because there’s no such thing as achieving group goals without achieving individual goals first.

So, what do I mean by this?

A leader, must have a great sense of self-direction first before being able to lead many.
Remember: A lost soul can never lead another lost soul. They’ll end up, well, both lost.

Aside from self-direction, a real leader must have the following qualities:

1.       The Brain: Knowledge is power. –they say. I sincerely believe that this is true. I know that it will take a great deal of thinking when you are leading yourself –and others. So, it is very important for a leader to have a healthy brain and sense of thinking in order to come up with plans to deal with many responsibilities. So, the saying “The Leader is the Head of the group.” is literally true.

2.       The Heart: When you are a leader, your followers look up to you not just as their leader, but as their mother (or father) as well. In a more cozy setting, you are either the group’s big sister or brother. This means, being the “All-Knowing-Walking-Google-Bitch” is not enough. Aside from the ability to lay out plan of action, a leader is also required to have the heart (conscience) to be able to tailor fit any course of action based on the group’s (or individual’s) current situation. And when I say current situation, this means a leader’s approach should not just be based on superficial events. –but non-superficial too.

Okay, this may take more explaining as I thought it would. I can also use the word “Sensitivity” for this.

A leader must have enough sensitivity in order to come up with achievable plans for the group. One good example is this scenario:

-Scenario 1-
Case Study: Reproductive Health
Mission: To provide alternatives for the effectivity of RH / Family Planning
Situation: 3 of your group members are devout Roman Catholics who oppose alternative methods

Tendency: If you’re the type of a leader who ONLY uses your brain, you’ll end up imposing the results of your research as the general findings and stand of your group without any consideration of your group members’ background. Which will lead to forced stand.

You just forced 3 of your group members to take your stand they don’t personally believe in. They cry themselves at night afraid that their souls will burn in hell because they were forced to take a stand opposite to the teachings of their faith. In church, they suddenly distanced themselves to their church friends. Ashamed of the fact that they were forced to participate in a case study where, they could’ve given their own additional alternatives to the alternatives based on their personal opinions and teachings, if only given a chance. –If only you were sensitive enough to ask your members’ take on the case.

-Scenario 2-
Office Situation: Over-time pay
Background: Your subordinate asked you to sign his overtime slip. You refuse to sign it and said; “It’s part of your job. Why would you file it as overtime? You shouldn’t. You should love your work to the point that working extra hour should be treated as reflection of your love for work. Look at me. I stay here overtime. I work more than 12 hours. I stay late here because I love my job. You should to!”

Result: Your subordinate went home to his family. His wife is very angry at him and suspects he’s having an affair because he stayed late at work. His youngest daughter asked if he was able to grab a treat on his way home. He said he couldn’t because he doesn’t have the money. His eldest son asked for money for a school project. He was forced to give the money he had left on his wallet that he saved for his transportation. On their fridge (that doesn’t work), he saw a disconnection notice from Meralco. And oh! His wife is 2 months pregnant to their third baby.

Your subordinate earns P16,000.00/mo. –net.
While you earn P30,000.00/mo. – and you don’t have children to send to school because your children are old enough and are working too. Surely, you love your job. Everyone is happy for you. Congratulations!

Being a leader doesn’t only call for a brain that knows everything. Being a leader also calls for a person who has the heart to put his/herself in other people’s shoes. The sensitivity to know people and look at them not just as followers but family too. The passion to help people to do better not just as an employee, but a person.

Wew! That was long! But not as long as the time I have to spend to be able to realize that. J

3.       The Maturity: Not the age.- the psychological and emotional maturity (google: EQ). There’s no such thing as a perfect leader. Nope. That’s just impossible. Master Oogway was great! But he was a turtle. And he’s a cartoon character. So, No. there’s no such thing as a perfect leader.

Maturity and Adaptability. Maturity in knowing that people are different and respect individuality. The ability in making mature adjustments for people of age, race, culture, tradition and backgrounds. –among other things.

Maturity in leadership is the ability to take on all covered and uncovered duties with strong sense of responsibility. The ability to make sound decisions based on the group’s collaborative effort. And the ability to take ownership of the results or consequences of actions taken.

Maturity is the ability to know when to stand as the lead authority and when to let your followers take the lead.

Maturity is the ability to take criticism constructively and not take it as a personal attack or attack on your delegation.

-Scenario-
Situation: Subordinate Suggestion
Background: Your subordinate had been asking you about the plan specifics for an upcoming event. He had been asking you for two weeks now because he needs to finish all the schedule plot to avoid system over-rides. Two weeks passed, you didn’t gave him any update on the event. Then 1:34 A.M. of the day of the event, you asked him to plot a schedule for 2 personnel. You knew schedules are plotted for 2weeks because of the Scheduling system. A single change on the plot would require re-work on rearrangements. Not to mention, system over-ride. Your subordinated plotted everything upon your request. It required him to do everything all over again. Your subordinate then sent you a message: “Dear Leader, I’ve arranged everything just as you requested. Please note that schedules are plotted for 2week-basis. In the future, if you wish to have an arrangement for any events, kindly let me know in advance to avoid system overrides. I’d appreciate it very much. Thank you!”

Which you replied with: “Okay. Next time, you do my job if you’re that good.”

Your subordinate was tempted to reply: “Sure! Quit your job and let me take your place and I will prove you that planning is easy if you schedule everything correctly. And if you have plans for upcoming events, you could at least give a suggested plot to work on as Plot Template 2.”

-he thought about it but he didn’t replied to your message because he was more mature than you.

The next day, you gave everyone in the office bars of chocolates.-aside from your subordinate who plotted everything at 2:00 A.M. and who will spend the whole day correcting all the system override all because of your poor planning.

You knew he love chocolates. So, middle finger goes to you for excluding him! And middle finger goes to you for being a bully! And middle finger goes to you for misleading everyone with your smooth talks. They don’t have any idea. You’re just another wanna-be who can’t fully deliver your false-promises.

4.       The “Selfless” Mentality: A leader doesn’t have to know everything. It is never required for a leader to have all abilities known to man. Therefore, a leader should be selfless in a sense that he/she should not take everything for his/herself.

This is something people often mistook about leadership. That a leader must have all the qualities required of the job. –Wrong!

Only really great leaders know, that they don’t have to stick their heads on everything to gain everything. All they need to do is to have the smarts to choose the right combination of people to deliver the best job there is.

If you want to be a great leader, choose people who are way smarter that you. People who are willing to go the extra distance for you. People who knows how to dance to any rhythm. People who are willing to get theirs hands dirty. People who are willing to sweat. People who are willing to crawl. People who knows how to have fun!

A great leader is the one who knows the flow of action is not centered or focused at him/her. But on the people he/she was able to build up. The one who knows that people are the center of everything. Not him. Not her. –but the people.

A great leader is the one who acknowledges the need of his/her people for supplementary nourishment. Someone who knows how to share his/her knowledge to everyone. Keeping in mind that well-informed, and well-equipped soldiers make the best army.

5.       The “Sharing” Mentality: see number 4. This is just an additional. Please share that potato chips you have inside your drawer. You’ll never know the magic a bag of potato chips can make to people and relationships if you keep that bag all for yourself. Share the obesity factor. Thank you!

6.       The Confidence: Not self-confidence. –but the confidence in others. I’ve met lots and lots of talented leaders before. Leaders who are not afraid to face people, tell them what to do and so on. Self-confidence for people born with the talent and the smarts is not so hard to achieve. It is innate. But confidence in others, now that’s something any leader has to work on. The confidence that even if you don’t lift a finger, or say a word. You just know your followers will do the act. The confidence in your people that they can deliver a great job. The confidence in others that they can do it with or without you. The confidence that you place in your people’s hands that they will not fail. For the essence of leadership, is actually creating new leaders.

You can’t call yourself a leader if you can’t even trust your people to do their jobs. Taking care of things on your own doesn’t make you a great leader. Helping people become dependable and reliable. –that’s what makes you one.

Hindi leader ang tawag sa mga tao na walang tiwala at nangbi-baby sa subordinates nya. Lola ang tawag dun. Malaki ang kaibahan ng dalawa.

7.       The “Just” Mentality: A leader must show and reflect justice and fairness in all aspects. Having pets are normal. But as a leader, you of all people should know that paying someone more favorable attention compared with others does not and will not help anyone in your group. It would only promote insecurity, envy and unhealthy competition.

8.       The General’s Dignity: covers the ability to stand for your people. To represent them.

Ever wonder why generals still fight in battle along side their soldiers? Because in the battle field, a general is no different to a soldier. Whatever battle your soldier is going through, you should be there, fighting with them. Leading the way. Taking charge.

You shouldn’t call yourself a leader if you do not have the guts to step up and speak up for your people.


“Nagugutom na yung tao mo. Ni hindi mo sila mabigyan ng tinapay. Tinatapak-tapakan na sila, ni hindi mo sila maipaglaban. Bakit ka pa nandyan kung wala ka naman palang silbi? Hala. Umuwi ka nalang at maghugas ng plato!”

9. The NO-BULLSHIT-ATTITUDE: As a leader, you are required to be sensitive in handling your people. but don't get this wrong. too much sensitivity can sometimes result to sugar-coating. instead of giving your people the real score, you end up giving them false hopes that everything's okay even when it's not.

You can still be sensitive without compromising honesty. when time comes your team needs to perform, give them the right expectations. never mislead them.

if things aren't working the way they should, them let them know. -they deserve to know the truth.

if you can't give them the assistance that they need, then be honest and let them know you need help.

if someone from your team misbehaves, give them the right to explain why they acted that way. -if it's unreasonable, then give them the discipline they deserve.

Never mislead your team in believing you got everything covered for them. -you can only try.

Wag paniwalain ang mga tao na sandalan ka nila, kung anytime, very willing kang ilaglag sila sa mga alanganing sitwasyon. nakaka-bullshit yon.



Notes to Company Owners in choosing your Leaders:

I have given you a list of qualities of a leader in addition to the cliché requirements. This shall make it easier for you to make appropriate decisions with regards to choosing or promoting people to take on leadership positions.

I just want to add the “Don’t choose” part:

1.       Don’t choose people who prioritize work over family. –frankly. You think you hit the jackpot when you hired or promoted someone who prioritize work because you see them as business grower. NO! You’re wrong. They are robots who doesn’t have life (if not living a miserable life). They are fast workers, always at the office, stays late at the office. –yes. But not because they love their job. It just happened that they don’t want to be at or have anything to do at home. Or outside. That’s why they’d rather spend their hours working.  

Then they got used to it so much that they led themselves into believing that they love their job. They are the kind of people who always says “Yes sir.” “Aye, Sir!” “I’ll do it.” etc. They work. But they don’t give you the best results. They work. But they don’t deliver excellent job. Why? Because they don’t have a life! Workaholics are not the most motivated people at the office because they lack inspiration. They are the type of people who makes the office vibes negative.

They are the black-and-white only people. They are the kind who only sees what’s wrong. They rarely acknowledge great work by other people. They look at smart subordinates as competition that they have to kill as soon as possible. They are lifeless, colorless people. Imagine life without yellow! Green! Blue! Pink! Imagine. NO Pink!!!

Your office will be such a sad, sad place to work in. People will work, yes. But not because they love what they do, or who they work with. But because they need to have the money to feed their families. –and that’s that. 90% of workaholics are like what I’ve mentioned above. You rarely meet a workaholic person who smiles with so much life!

2.       Don’t choose people just because of their loyalty. I don’t know. But it’s been a Filipino culture to promote people just because they stayed with the company for so long. And companies often give promotion to a higher level position as a reward.

WRONG!

Promotions should not be treated just as a reward. -But acknowledgement of Great Work done by a person. Promotions are for people who work their ass off for the benefit of the company. For people who handle 5-man jobs. People who handle multiple works all at the same time. Promotions are for people who reflect and perform the right qualities. People who actually walk the talk.  People who goes above and beyond the job description to deliver results.

The thing with promoting people just because they stayed with the company for so long is that it gives the impression that as long as you stay, you’ll get promoted. So just stay. That’s all you need to do. Even if you don’t perform well, as long as you stay, you’ll be a manager. Even if you don’t have a right qualities, as long as you stay, you’ll be the department head. Kahit tanga ka pa, magiging mataas ang katungkulan mo. At kapag mataas na katungkulan mo, wala ka nang gagawin. Tititigan mo nalang computer mo at magpapanggap kang busy ka. Kunwari, may ginagawa ka pa. kapag wala si boss, mag gupit ka ng kuko every-other day. O kaya mag bunot ng kilay. O uban. O uban sa kilay.

Rewards system is so sick that it gives power to the wrong people to command effective, talented people.

The result: Talents, wasted. Smarts, wasted. Soon, those talented and smart people will become weary and tired being led by the wrong leaders. If they are brave, they’ll pack their things and leave. If they’re afraid, sad thing. They will grow old having the same mind set as those people whose names appear on the upper level of the ladder. –another tragedy in the making.

Note: Giving power to the wrong people. That’s the biggest mistake any company or company owners can make.

Same goes to the government. Come 2016, same cycle will take place. –unless we change the habit.

3.       Don’t choose people who just tells you stuff. People will tell you anything you want to hear. Especially if you have the money, the means, the power. Business is politics. And you will be surrounded by politicians who will feed your ears with beautiful lies. You will give in, of course. Because what they say is so nice that they make you believe they are your savior. Feel free to give in. –if you’re weak. But, if you still have strength, run! If you have the smarts, then, out-wit them! These people are the kind of people who will play strings to get what they want from you. So, beware.



These are just raw realizations on leadership. My views are still subject to change. I’m still looking for great influences who can help me balance my perspectives.

Most people will say that it’s difficult to find people with the qualities I’ve mentioned.

It is very difficult. Yes. –but not impossible.

I am very fortunate that I was able to find 3 people who have the qualities I have mentioned. I would love to become the 4th.

Goal set. I’m on the move.



Tuesday, April 7, 2015

a tea time conversation with a soul

a tea time conversation with a soul

November 2, 2010 at 8:09am
is this the only life you can live?
is this the only kingdom you can rule?
are those the only warriors you can lead?
is that the only thing you can do?

as the wind blows, it whispers....

now that i learn to understand you more,
i can't help but feel sorry for you.

for i know you can do better than that.

you have your strengths, yet you chose to take advantage of your people's weakness instead.

you could have been better than what you are now.
you could have had my respect.

our good Lord, gave you a fair position.
a position where you could mold. teach.
not corrupt your people off their innocence.

He gave you a public.
a public that is so willing to follow you to whatever end,
if only you chose to guide them by good example.

you have the power to change their lives.
give them the chance to grow,
to broaden their minds.
to widen their horizon...
you could have showed them how to succeed.excel.

you have the power to help them reach their goals.
the power to bring their potential into reality.

you have the power to help them.

you have been given the privilege of intelligence.
yet you chose to use it for yourself...
and only, for yourself.

you could have lead them.
teach them how to lead their own lives.

yet you chose not to.

focusing on the benefit you can achieve leaving them doomed. leaving them without a hope for a better future.
keeping them imprisoned under your wings,
when you knew, you could have taught them how to fly. soar!

you could have done that.

but you chose not to.

our good Lord, gave you a chance.
the chance to make a difference.

but you neglected it.

you've had all the resources.
it could have prospered.
if only you chose to enrich it, not abuse it.

it is indeed, sad, to see you like this.

it hurts me to watch you burn.
burn by your greed. selfishness.

day...by day.... by day.

i ask, how could you be so reckless? heartless?

you were born so strong.
not to belittle those who are weak.
but to help them to be the best they can be.

you could have done what was right.
yet you've chosen not to.

you could have reached further.

you could have earned your people's faith.

you could have lead your life to great, great places.

you could have achieved more.

if only you did what was ought for you to do.

are you even happy?

do you feel fulfilled?

some people might envy you for the power that you have now.
the power you hold over your unfortunate people.
but i am not one of those people.
i can not be blinded by your great disguise.

i see you...

i see you...


it is indeed, sad, to see you like this.

it hurts me to watch you burn.
burn by your greed. selfishness.

day...by day.... by day.

if only you did what was ought for you to do...

then you could have been...

a much better version of your self...


oh dear! my cup is empty.

would you mind for another cup?

*poink! (o_O)_\m/

On Love and Relationships

MY EARS ARE ALL OPEN WHEN YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THINGS

November 8, 2011 at 3:46pm
"MY EARS ARE ALL OPEN WHEN YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THINGS. MY MIND, AND MY HEART, WILL UNDERSTAND YOUR WORDS NO MATTER HOW DREADFUL IT IS. TALK, AND I WILL LISTEN. EXPRESS, AND I WILL UNDERSTAND. I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU. NO. I WOULDN'T DO THAT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. ALL POSSIBILITIES ARE WELCOME. I AM READY TO ACCEPT YOUR TRUTH. I WILL GIVE YOU TIME AND SPACE FOR YOU TO GROW. AND WHEN IN TIME, YOU FIND ME NOT SUITABLE, IF ONE TIME, YOU FIND ME UNWORTHY OF YOUR LOVE, COME AND TALK TO ME. I WILL LISTEN. AND I WILL NOT JUDGE. I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH THAT I AM WILLING TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED EVEN FREEDOM. BUT FOR NOW, LET'S SAVOR THE MOMENT WE HAVE. AND LET US NOT DO CRAZY THINGS THAT WILL DESTROY WHAT WE WORKED HARD FOR IN YEARS. I LOVE YOU."

this is what i always say to my bf whenever we had serious talks... this is not a "guilt crusher". this is simply, my way of letting him know that he can trust me. that he can tell me anyhting. that no matter how bad things get, i will always listen to him, and i will always try to understand. this is not easy... especially when deep emotions are attached. but i am lucky, that in time, we both helped each other how to grow... we taught each other how to trust each other and respect our differences. we've had clutters too. and sure as the sun, we will have more. our relationship, is a continuous process of learning and discovery. i can say that i owe him a lot... and he too, learned a lot from me. that, i am certain.
we have this relationship which is quite similar to others. we've had problems, issues, fights, laughs, talks (millions of it), tantrums, everything.
just like other couples, we've had times when we just want to give up.
but we never let that happen.
because, at the end of the day, we always end up patching things, making amends, reconcillation, peace.
we always end up together. because, we just couldn't let go.
no.
no matter how worst we are as a couple.
no matter how our smarts always clash.
no matter how naggy i am.
no matter how bad his temper is...
no matter how imperfect we are as individuals - and as a couple.
we just couldn't let go.
we just couldn't leave each other to rot in our baddness.
no.
no matter how bad things get.
i couldn't leave him.
and he couldn't leave me.
because we both knew, we love each other and that we have to stay together to help bring out the best in ourselves, and our relationship.
we are not perfect.
we will never be.
but i hope, our relationship, our respect, trust and understanding,
can help those who feel like giving up, and letting each other go because of betrayal, pain, hurt.
i would like to share my thoughts,
so it may help others.
there are people, who uses leaving as a threat... ito yung nakakalungkot... na parang ginagawa nilang punishment ang pangiiwan sa isang taong pumalyang paligayahin sila...
this, i learned through time...
that no matter how you love each other, there will always come a point na madidisappoint ka ng taong mahal mo at inaasahan mong magmamahal at magaalaga sayo...
 ito ang mali sa ibang tao...
at naging mali ko dati.
i expected too much.
 like, "I AM HONEST. SO BE HONEST TO ME. I AM LOYAL SO YOU SHOULD BE LOYAL. I AM THIS, YOU SHOULD BE LIKE THIS. I AM ALL THAT GOOD SO YOU SHOULD BE GOOD BECAUSE I DESERVE IT." maraming tao ang may ganyang mentality. TRUE. EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED RIGHT. EVERONE DESERVES THE BEST.
but, it always depends on the capabilty of the other person. we don't have the power to impose our views to our partners as much as they can not impose all their beliefs in us. maraming tao ang, "niloko nya ako... ginago nya ako... tinanga nya ako...kaya dapat iwan ko sya." nang hindi manlang iniisip, kung nagawa ba nila ng maayos at mabuti ang part nila bilang partner.
dahil kung nagawa mo talaga ang dapat mong gawin, at nagampanan mo ang role mo, bilang partner, walang rason para bumitaw ka... dahil kaya ka nga nandyan, para turuan sya, at para hindi iasa ang trabaho ng pagbabago sa kanya...
 AS A PARTNER, YOU SHOULD GIVE IT YOUR BEST TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOUR OTHER HALF. hindi yung lugmok na nga yung tao, iiwan mo pa sa ere...

ang lahat ay nadadaan sa usapan...

halimbawang niloko ka ng partner mo, hindi tamang basta exit ka nalang dhil nasaktan ka...
bilang tao, may kapasidad kang mag-isip ng tama...
at may kakayahan kang tumulong.
 tumulong ka hangga't makakaya mo...
pwede kang tumulong ng hindi ka nagpapaloko...
hindi mo kailangang maging martir at lunukin ang panloloko...
pero, maniwala kang, higit kaninu man, ikaw ang may higit na kapangyarihan para itama ang anumang mali...
hayaan mong bukas ang iyong puso para tulungang mabago ang dapat mabago...
ang pangiiwan sa taong minamahal ay palatandaan ng kahinaan...
 hindi mo masasabing mahal mong tunay ang isang tao kung agad-agad mo lang syang tatalikuran.

Sino ang tunay na Baliw?

#sa bawat hakbang: isang masustansyang hapon sa piling ni Mang Ben

October 27, 2012 at 12:39pm
#malakas ang pananalig ko na basta minimum ang pamasahe, ibig-sabihin, pwedeng lakarin.
At yun na nga ang ginagawa ko.

Basta minimum, LAKARIN! ;)

*kuya, mga ilang minutes lakarin mula dito sa bahay hanggang SM? -minsan tanong ko sa kuya ko.

Mahilig sa adventures si kuya.

Umaakyat ng bundok.

Nagba-bike kung saan-saan...

At madalas namin bonding, documentaries about wildlife and Earth kundi man history and politics.

Magka-iba kami ng pananaw tungkol sa nuclear energy. ;)

"para sa akin, 30mins. Brisk walker kasi ako." -sagot ni kuya.

*sa isip.

Kung 30mins yun para kay kuya na brisk-walker, malamang, mga 1hr or more yun para sa akin.
Hindi naman kasi ako mabilis malakad.

*owkei! ;)
pwedeng pwede!

#isang araw, sa lakas ng sapi ko...

Napagpasyahan kong lakarin mula sa amin hanggang sm.

*timer...
Starts...

NOW!

habang naglalakad ako,
ilang jeep din ang lumagpas sa akin.
May ilan na sinisigawan pa ako ng mga driver or backride na sumakay na.

Kapag ngumingiti ako at sinasabing, "ah, hindi po ako sasakay. Salamat."

titingnan nila ako na parang ako ang pinaka-insane na tao sa mundo.

At ang mga pasahero, sinusundan ako ng tingin.

Sa kanilang mga titig, aking nababasa: "there must be something wrong with her..."

sa isip ko, "hehe.. ;)".

51mins and 36secs.

Tadadan!

Hindi ako lumampas sa 1 oras.

Yeah boy! ;)

#narating ang nais patunguhan.

Napatunayan ang nais patunayan.

#kapag minimum ang pamasahe,

super pwedeng lakarin!

Pero, kung naka-japorms ka, super hindi pwede.

Kung maarte ka, mas super hindi pwede!

At kung wala kang interes sa mga bagay na pwede mong mapulot sa paglalakad, mas lalong lalong lalong super hindi pwede!

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!

*ang dusing ng paa ko, nakakatuwa.
Dama ko ang lupon ng mga tiyanak sa loob ng ilong ko. Kombinasyon ng natural na sipon, alikabok, at usok.

Ummmm... Nutrients! ;)

hindi ako pumasok sa loob ng mall.
Umupo lang ako sa hagdan sa may entrance. Naisip ko, bakit may malls?

Hmmmm...
Another created need.

Kayang kaya na talagang gumawa ng mga tao ng mga pangangailangan na hindi naman talaga kailangan...

Social conditioning.

Ilang years din akong bulag sa katotohanan.

Nung unang panahon, nilalakad ng mga tao ang mga kontinente.

Parang gusto ko yon gawin ngayon.

#wala nang end sa talents ng tao. Kahit imposible, nagagawa na.

Kapag ginawa mo ang basics, ikaw na ang baliw.

Olrayt!;)

hmmmmmm...

Parang kailan lang, andaming ma puno sa lugar na to.
Naaalala ko pa nung bata ako...
Nung panahon na ang pinaka-malapit na mall ay ang sm cubao.
Tong kinauupuan ko, puro ibon dito.
At malamig ang hangin.

Ngayon, yung mga ibon, sa mga billboards na dumadapo kapag oras na ng pagtulog nila.

Nakaka-awa. ;(

sa harap ko, dati, puro puno ang nakatayo at kumakaway...

Ngayon, bakal na ang mga nakatirik.

May paalala na malapit nang matapos ang pinaka-hihintay ng lahat.

Isa nanamang mall.

Excited na ang mga taong masilayan ang bagong tambayan.
Ang bagong bisyo.
Ang bagong pampawala ng boredom.

Ang bagong created need.

Saklap.


#haaaaaaaaay...

Hindi ko alam kung sadya akong out of place.

Parang ipinanganak ako sa maling panahon.

*pahinga konti.

Bumili ako ng all-on-sticks combo.

2 malaking kikiam.
2 squid/ chicken balls.
2 fishball.

10 pesos.

Sabay malamig na buko juice.

#ah... This is life!

#napukaw ang pansin ko ng isang taong grasa na naglalakad-lakad.

Huminto sya, para tingnan ang lupon ng mga ibon na naglalambaras sa kawad ng kuryente.

#napa-iling-iling.

*mukhang pareho kami ng saloobin.

Bimili ulit ako ng combo. Take out.

Sinundan si manong taong grasa...

#kinakausap ang sarili.

"panay-panay tayo ng mga malalaking bahay! Wala nang bahay mga ibon! Mga dimonyo!" -sabay pulot ng tinapay na mga 10 years na atang nasa kalsada.


"manong! Manong! Wag nyo po kainin yan!" -pigil ko.

"bakit?sayo ba to?"

"ay, hindi po. Pero, ito po, may pagkain ako, ito nalang po kainin nyo."

tinanggap naman nya.
Walang pasalamat.

Saan po kayo pupunta?

*napangiwi ng mapaso ng mainit na kikiam.

"a-hit aan!"

hipan nyo po muna, para hindi po kayo mapaso. Inum po kayo oh,...

Abot ng buko.

Walang salamat.

"kahit saan."

pwede po ba akong sumabay?

*mapanuring tingin.

#first time kong madanas na tingnan ng isang tao na walang tino sa pagiisip na tila ako isang tao na walang tino sa pagiisip.

#ahaaay. ;]

"bakit? Wala ka bang bahay?"

ah, meron po.

"may gusto ka ba sa akin?"

#patay.

"pupunta ako sa dulo ng walang hanggan. Maghahanap ako ng ginto para yumaman."

#naglakad na kami.

*hawak ang baso ng fishball at plastik ng buko sa kaliwang kamay, at tangan ang stick sa kanan...
Sa gitna ng pagkain...

"kapag yumaman ako, papagiba ko lahat ng batong yan! (malls)..."

"sila ang nagpapasok ng kadimonyohan sa isip ng mga tao!"

"daming nagdudukot! Mga magnanakaw!"

*subo. Nguya. Inum.

"nilayasan ako ng asawa ko dahil wala akong yaman pambili ng magagarang damit at alahas! Ipinagpalit ako sa mayamang lalake! Mga hayup!"

*subo. Nguya. Inum.

#ubos.

*dighay.

"sino ka?"

lyka po pangalan ko.

"bakit mo ako sinusundan?
Wala na akong kotse."

ah, ahm... Nagbabaka-sakali lang po na baka may matutunan.

"gusto mong iduscuss ko kung paano gumagana ang mata ng tao?"

po?

*discuss.

*tulala ako.

"anu pang gusto mong malaman?"

ano pong pangalan nyo?

"iniwan na ako ng pangalan ko. Tawag nila sa akin, baliw."

anu pong tawag sa inyo ng asawa nyo dati?

"ben."

mang ben. Bago po kayo naging ganito. Ahm, ano po ba kayo dati?

*tumingin.

"maniniwala ka ba kung sasabihin ko? O tulad nila, sasabihin mo ring baliw ako?"

ano po kayo dati, mang ben?

"doktor."

*katahimikan.

"bakit hindi ka natawa?"

ano po bang nakakatawa don?

"pinagtatawanan ako ng mga tao kapag sinasabi kong dati akong doktor."

kung doktor po kayo dati, hindi ko po kayo dapat pagtawanan.

"eh pano kung hindi?"

ganun din po.

"baliw ka ba?"

#first time kong madanas na tanungin ako ng isang taong tinuturing na baliw kung baliw ba ako.

Hindi ko po alam.

Parte po ako ng henerasyon ngayon na sumasamba sa mga bagay na gawa ng makabagong panahon.

Hindi ko po alam kung ano na ang baliw.

"nakiki-ayon ka sa paligid dahil sa yun ang napapanahon? Baliw ka nga."

#patay.

*katahimikan.

Binabagtas na namin ang daan pauwi sa amin. Sa tantsa ko'y nasa kalahati na kami.

Bawat dumaraang sasakyan ay hindi pansin.

Umuulan ng mapanuring mga tingin at pangmamata.

Mga tanong na hindi ko kailangan sagutin.

Mga panghuhusgang hindi ko kailangan indahin.

Manong Ben, matagal na po ba kayong ganito? hindi po ba kayo napapagod?

"matagal na. Hindi na ako nakakaramdam ng pagod."

wala po ba kayong bahay? Saan po ba kayo nakatira dati?

"may bahay ako. At pamilya. Pero, tinalikuran na nila ako.

Akin ang buong Pilipinas. Pilipino ako at saan man sulok ng Pilipinas ay pwede kong tawaging tahanan."

paano po kapag bumabagyo, o mainit, o gabing malamig? Saan po kayo tumutuloy?

"hindi ako takot sa panahon. Ang panahon ay pauli-ulit sa pagbabago. Kung uulan ngayon, bukas aaraw. Mas baliw ang panahon kesa sa akin. Hindi ba dapat sya ang matakot sa kanyang kalagayan? Hindi sya stable."

*hindi naiwasang ngumiti.

"bakit ang puti mo? Amerikano ka ba?"

hindi po. Pilipino po ako.

"pareho pala tayo."

opo.

"mayaman ka ba?"

naku, hindi po. Tamang sapat na pamumuhay lang po.

"may pamilya ka?"

opo. Papa at mama ko po. At mga kapatid ko. At mga pamangkin ko.

"asawa, anak?"

ah, wala pa po. Bata pa po ako.

"wag ka magaasawa ng babaeng mukhang pera."

opo. Hindi po ako magaasawa ng babae. Bawal po yun sa batas.
At opo, hindi po ako magaasawa ng mukhang pera.

"maging mabuti kang anak, kapatid at tita. Hindi mo hawak ang mundo sa palad mo. Kaya habang may pagkakataon ka, maging mabuti kang tao."

opo.



October 30, 2012 at 11:28am

#it is a rare opportunity to find someone who can fill every moment with a conversation filled with sense. - even in silence.

maraming hakbang din ang ginugol namin ni mang ben.

may kibo o wala, may kung anung saya ang dumapo sa aking puso.

maraming beses na akong nakipag-usap sa iba't-ibang tao.

complete strangers kahit pa may silent rule na: "DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS!!"

sige na, out law na ako.

minsan nadin akong nakipag-kwentuhan sa def-mute. -yun masaya din yun.

pero iba talaga si mang ben.

naalala ko si super friend ko...

yung tipong kahit hindi sya magsalita, basta, andyan sya, happy ko.

ganun yung feeling ko with mang ben.

malapit na kami sa lugar namin.

nalakad namin ang distansya ng hindiko napapansin.

walang pagod.

walang bahid ng pagka-pagal.

ganito pala yung pakiramdam.

#lalampas ako, sigurado.

at lumampas nga ako. -sadya.

#ito siguro yung feeling nung mga teenagers na kasabay umuuwi yung mga crush nila nung high school.
mas pinipili nila ang LONG CUT para ma-savor ang moment.

*hindi na ako highschool.
*hindi na teenager.
*at mas lalo namang hindi ko crush si mang ben.

sa palagay ko, happy lang talaga ako sa moment.

manong, nagugutom na po ba kayo?

*medyo madilim na.

oo. bakit? gutom ka din ba?
wala akong pagkain.

ah, hindi naman po...
gusto nyo po ba kumain?

oo. sino bang may ayaw kumain?

tara po, kain tayo.

wala akong pera.

ayos lang po. ako nang bahala.

akala ko ba, hindi ka mayaman?

hindi nga po. pero, hindi ko naman po sinabing wala akong pera.

kung may pera ka, bakit ka naglakad?

mahilig po akong maglakad.
at mag....
well... maglakad.

may pera ka, pero naglalakad ka?

kaya naman pong lakarin. kaya nilalakad ko.

akala ko, ako lang ang baliw.
mas baliw kapala sa akin.

#toinks!

bagoko ilibre si mang ben,batid ko na mahabang panahon na syang nagiisa.
walang bahay na masisilungan,
walang anak na yayakap.
walang asawa na maglalambing.
at matagal na syang hindi nakakatikim ng totoong pagkain.

kaya bago kami kumain, tinanong ko muna ang bagong kaibigan:

ano pong gusto  nyong kainin mang ben?

*matagal na pagiisip.

kahit ano!

sa tagal ng pagiisip nya, yun lang ang naisagot nya.

#kahit ano.

ahm... walapo ba kayong gustong kainin?
yung tipong pagkain na gustong gusto nyong tikman?

*matagal na pagiisip.

wala.
kahit anong pagkain, basta pwedeng kainin, ayos na.

#sa tagal ng panahon na inilagi sa kanyang kalagayan, marahil, nakalimutan na nya ang konsepto ng  WANTS.

napagpasyahan kong gawing masaya ang araw.

napagpasyahang ilibre si mang ben sa masayahing bubuyog.

#discrimination!

hindi pinapasok si mang ben sa masayahing bubuyog dahil sa kanyang hitsura.

business is business.
wala akong magagawa.

mang ben, hintayin nyo nalang po ako dito ha?
bibili lang po ako ng kakainin natin.

hindi um-oo. pero umupo ang aking kaibigan sa step ng store.
at pumasok na ako sa loob para um-order.

1 2pc chicken +extra rice large drink
1 spaghetti meal large drink
2 large fries
2 peach-mango pie
2 black forest na sundae.


#it's a feast!!!

paglabas ko'y nakita kong tahimik na nakatitig si mang ben sa manong na nagtitinda ng mga lobo.
yung malalaking mukha nila DORA, SPONGE BOB, PATRICK AT BEN 10.

gusto nyo po ba ng lobo?

*walang tugon.

ibinaba ko ang pinamiling fiesta, at akmang lalapit na sa manong na nagtitinda ng lobo nang...

yung pang babae.

#DORA HEAD APPROACHING!

BAMONOS!!!

iniabot kay mang ben ang lobo.

tara, manong...
kain na po tayo.
umupo sa lapag na kinauupuan ng kaibigan.
iniayos ang "hapag".

kain na po!

#DORA.

sino tong batang to?

ah, si dora po yan.
yan po yung usong cartoons sa mga bata ngayon.
nagtuturo po sya ng spanish.
at kumakanta.
marami po syang friends.

favorite ko dun si GRUMPY OLD TROLL who lives under a bridge. (parang gusto ko pa kantahin.)

aaah...

kain na po.

tiningnan ako ni mang ben na tila ayaw kumain.
ayaw bitawan si DORA.

naglaro ang imahinasyon ko:

#LET GO,MANONG! LET GO!
HEY KIDS, YOU TELL MANONG TO LET GO OF ME AND EAT HIS FOOD!
LET'S DO IT! YOU CAN LEAD THE WAY... HEY HEY!

hinawakan ang lobo sa kanyang kaliwang kamay at akmang kakain gamit ang kanan.

amina po.

itinali ko ang lobo sa plastik ng anik-anik na lagi nyang dala.

wag po kayong mag-alala. hindi po yan lilipad.

panatag.

kumain ng matiwasay.

masarappo ba?

#tingin kay dora.

ah,manong ben, focus po muna kayo sa pagkain.
hindi po aalis si dora. maniwala po kayo.
wala syang map. kaya hindi sya makaka-alis.

panatag.
kumain.

pwede ko bang tikman yan?

turo sa spaghetti.

ay,opo naman. ito po, share tayo.

kumain ng kumain.
nagpaka-busog.

masarap po ba?

lahat ng pagkain, masarap.

wala akong karapatang maging maselan.

lahat ng pagkain ay biyaya.
wala sa akin kung masarap o hindi.
kung mahal o hindi.
basta, iisa lang ang tingin ko sa mga pagkain.

#BIYAYA.

*napaisip.
*totoo ang sinabi ng kaibigan.

bakit nga ba ayaw ng mga tao ang NFA?
at nagbubuhos ng yaman para sa JASMINE.

kapag nadigest yon,
pareho naman siguro yon ng amoy at hitsura kapag inilabas na ng tao.

i mean, matutukoy mo pa ba ang kaibahan ng NFAat JASMINE kapag OUTPUT na ito?
masasabi mo bang "ay, ayang output na yan ay NFA. ewwww..." o kaya naman "excuse me,my output is JASMINE. duh!"

#sa palagay ko, hindi mo naman yun magagawa.

#DORA.

natapos kumain.
binalikan ni mang ben si dora.

*katahimikan.

hindi ko pa nabilhan ng lobo ang anak ko.
sa pagay mo, magugustuhan nya yan?

ah... lahat po ata ng bata, natutuwa kay dora.
pero, sa palagay ko, hindi sya magandang impluwensya.
kasi, kung saan saan po sya pumupunta.
hindi po ata sya nababantayan ng nanay nya.

#katy.

magugustuhan mo kaya ang lobo?

ilang taon na po ba si katy?

limang taon sya nung huli ko syang makita.
nakulong ako.

ilang taon po kayo nakulong?

labing-dalawang birthdayko.

(5+12 = 17)

ilang taon na po kayong laya?

tiningnan ang mga daliri sa kamay.

mukhang kulang. dahil tiningnan rin ang mga daliri sa paa.

(5+12=17 + not sure = not sure. but sure, it's been a very long time)

hindi ko alam kung paano sasabihin kay mang ben na baka hindi na magustuhan ni katy ang lobo.
pero, kung su-swertehin, baka magustuhan ng anak ni katy si dora.

manong ben, nung lumaya kayo, naisip nyo po ba umuwi?

wala yung bahay namin don.
wala na yung asawa ko.

may asawa na raw iba.

may kung anong sakit sa huling sinabi.

nahagip ng tingin ko ang luhang pumatak at tumatak sa gilid ng mga mata at pisngi ni mang ben.

#DORA.

lagot ka.pina-iyak mo si mang ben...

sana, sinabi nya sa akin ang problema.
sana, sinabi nya nalang na ayaw na nya sa akin.
handa akong magtrabaho ng masigasig para may pambili sya ng mga gusto nya.
sana, nakatapos ng kolehiyo so katy.
sana, hindi sya binubugbog ng bago nyang asawa.
sana, hindi ako ganito.

#DORA.

hindi ko akalaing kaya mong magsiklab ng apoy na dati nang naapula.

wala po ba kayong kamag-anak?

ayaw nila sa   kriminal.
ikinahihiya ako ng mga kapatid ko.
at takot sa akin ang mga pamangkin ko.
pinagdidirihan ako ng lahat.

paano po kung may naghahanap sa inyo?

walang maghahanap sa tulad ko.

pwede ko po kayong tulungan.

sabihin nyo lang po sa akin kung paano.

gusto kong makita si katy.

ano po bang buong pangalan nya?
 katy perez.

saan po ba kayo nakatira dati?

sa bulacan.

anu pong pangalan ng dati nyong asawa?

#tiningnan ako.

blangko.

tawa.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

*taka.

manong ben, bakit po?

manloloko yung babaeng yun!
bakit ko kailangan tandaan ang pangalan ng babaeng manloloko?

mang ben, hindi ko po kayo matutulungan maka-uwi sa pamilya nyo kung hindi ko po makukuha lahat ng detalyeng kailangan.

hindi ko kailangan ang tulong mo.

alam ko kung nasan si katy.

pati ang magaling nyang ina.

bakit hindi nyo po sila kausapin?

sa tingin mo, makikipag-usap sila sa akin?

sa buhay, minsan ka lang maka-gawa ng dungis nadulot ng iba, itatakwil ka na na tila ka may nakakahawang sakit.
sa tingin mo, tatanggapin pa nila ako?
kung noon na abogado ako,
iniwan ako ng asawako.
ngayon pa ba niya ako mamahalin?

*gulo.

teka, mang ben, akala ko po ba, doktor kayo dati?

doktor ako nung malaya ako.

abogado ako ng aking sarili nang makulong ako.

#patay.

mang ben, tatanungin ko po kayo ng mahusay.
gusto nyo po bang umuwi?

#kung hindi ka baliw. bakit tanong ka ng tanong sa taong baliw ng kung ano-ano? at umaasa ka ng mahusay na sagot sa mahusay mong tanong?
baliw ka nga.

#toinks.

may kani-kaniya tayong paniniwala.
baliw ang tingin sa akin ng mundo.
pinangingilagan, kinatatakutan, pinandidirihan at kinukutya ako ng mga tao.
baliw ang tawag sa akin.
nakulong ako sa rehas ng maling paniniwala noon.
nabulok sa bulag na pagmamahal sa babaeng salawahan.
hindi naging mabuting ama sa aking anak.

ang tahanan ko ay hindi naging tahanan kahit kailan.
sinundan ako ng bulok na politika saan man ako nagpunta.
nakapanakit ng tao dahil nahuli ko ang aking asawa na may kasamang iba.
sila na nangloko sa akin ay mga inosente.
at ako na naloko ay kriminal.

nakulong ako sa rehas na inakalang hindi ko na malalampasan.
nang makalaya'y muling nakulong sa rehas ng panghuhusga ng mundo.
hindi aral ang lahatng tao ng law. pero, judge lahat ng tao.
paano yun nangyari?

kapag umulan, sisilong sa katiting basilungan.
at itataboy ng mga tao.
ayaw nila sa mabahong tao.
pero yumayakap sila sa mababangong aso.

kakaunting barya,minsan kong hiningi.
ngunit dinanas ko rin na paglaruan kapalit ng pisong pambili ng tubig.

nanlimos ng awa.
umani ng mapangutyang tingin.
wala ni kapirasong tabing sa katawan,
ni isa'y walang mag abot ng damit.

may iilan, na tunay na naaawa.
inaabutan ako ng tira-tirang biyaya.
minsan, damit.
na aking iniipon dito sa aking plastik na lagayan.

paabot-abot ng kung ano-ano.
na minsan ay hindi ko naman kailangan.

bibihira ang taong umuupo malapit sa akin.
hindi nila kayang maki-bahagi sa aking mundo.

wala akong ibang pagkaka-kilanlan.
tatlo ang aking pangalan.

baliw.
taong grasa.
at palaboy.

akala ng lahat ay wala akong tahanan.
hindi nila batid na napaka-laki ng bahay ko kung tutuusin.
dahil akin ang buong mundo.
biyaya ito ng panginoon na kailangan kong ingatan.

kawawa ang tingin nila sa akin.
ako.
ako na tinatamasa ang tunay na kalayaan mula sa sistemang likha ng tao.

sino ba ang tunay na bilanggo?

ako ba, na walang kailanagn sundin?
o kayo na ang bawat kilos at bawat anyo'y kailangan i-ayon sa kung ano ang dapat?

ano ba ang tao para manghusga?

lahat tayo ay lalang ng Diyos.
ikaw.
sila.
ako.

pare-pareho tayo.

wala akong pera sa aking bulsa.
pero tangan ko ay napaka-raming aral na dulot ng taon-taong karanasan.

mabubuti at masasamang alaala.

na kailan ma'y hindi mawawala.

mga aral na habang buhay kong tangan.

hanggang sa aking pagpikit.

 #inililipad-lipad ng manipis na hangin si DORA.

hindi ko akalaing sa taong itinuturing na baliw makukuha ang tunay na aral na aking hinahanap mula ng tumapak ako sa paaralan.

buhay.

elementary.
highschool.
college.
masteral.
doctorate.

anong masasabi nyo sa aral na nasa loob ng isipan ng mang ben?



================================================================================

#umuwi ng bahay.
naglinis ng katawan.
pahinga.

napaka-kapal ng kalyo ng aking mga paa.

pero, hinding hindi ako magpapa-foot spa.

hinding hindi ko buburahin ang tanda ng isang hapon
na kasama ang aking kaibigan at ang kanyang mga aral.


=================================================================================

mang ben...
ituloy mo ang buhay bilang isang taong malaya.

sana, makasama kita ulit sa isang hapon ng paglalakad. ;)